You're in love?? Oh you started dating last week...??? Let me know how that goes...

So I run across Instagram photos, Facebook posts, and Tweets almost daily of people who are saying how much the they love their significant other, photos of them kissing, talking about how lucky they are to have this person in their life.... All these things that sappy couples do. Now I understand I may be culprit to such activity, but mind you I'm in a three year relationship. 

The reason all these posts, tweets, and photos from other people stick out is because they are new relationships. How can you deem yourself "so lucky to have him in my life" when you've been dating for two weeks, or even a month. I may be a bit pessimistic, but I have a feeling you'll be complaining about him texting other girls, or liking someone else photo before the year is up. 

Lucky for me I'm dating a real man, and he has proved to me that I am a very lucky woman. I don't play the BS relationship games that most people do. I don't worry who he is texting, where he is at, etc etc. We are both at the point were we both understand that we wont find anyone better, so there is no point in ruing a great thing. 

I find it highly entertaining when I see ambiguous posts like "You are a liar, cheat, good for nothing" and so on. It is hysterical to me that there are people out there who don't know how a relationship works. What cracks me up to a whole other level is when a guy cheats on his girlfriend and then the girlfriend gets mad at the girl he got with... Like I'm sorry... WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE LOYAL TO YOU??? Girls can be so twisted. Guys too. In my opinion there is no reason to be mad at someone who owes you nothing(the one your significant other cheated on you with), be angry at the person who said they loved you, and lied about where they were. 

This may seem like a very un thought out post, probably because it is. I just have a lot of thoughts on the way people view relationships these days. They get all excited after the first week, then a month later they could not be more upset with this guy/girl who they once loved so much.... SCOFF. 

The Man's Girl

Oh you like to hang out with guys cause they're less drama? 

Anytime I hear these words leave a females mouth I can't help to think what mostly enters it....

I understand being annoyed by females, but I'm not sexist, I find everyone annoying. I don't see how hanging around guys is less drama. Generally girls who hang around with only guys get two titles: Lesbian or Slut. Not that it maters if you're gay, or a slut... It just seems as though being labeled as one of those two things if you don't fall into either category can be considered "Drama-like." 

Let me stop and mention that I am not bashing girls who have a lot of guy friends, or those who have limited female friends. I just find the phrase "Less drama" in conjunction with "less females" as a false, yet interesting, statement. Yes females are dramatic, but so are men. In the long run, I find it quite interesting that men are considered to be less dramatic. 

So let me interrupt with how media sees girls who use this statement. 

Interesting...No?

Now what really annoys me is not necessarily the phrase of "I hang out with guys because girls are drama," but the girls who think they are a "man's girl." Now I'm fairly positive the term "Man's Girl" does not exists, but we have all heard of the term "a man's man." Being "a man's man" means you do men things, you hang out, watch sports, play video games, drink beer, etc. 

Girls who see themselves as "a Man's Girl" tend to think they are better than a girl who doesn't prefer such a  lifestyle that a man leads. Listed below are things that "a man's girl" says and does that makes me think they are trying a bit too hard to NOT be the average female. 

-"*eye roll* I drink beer, fruity drinks are too much..." This insinuates the idea that the "man's girl" feels as though she's better than a girl who prefers a Cosmo. She feels that she is more laid back for passing up the fruity vodka because she is willing to sit back and drink a brew-ski with the guys. 

-They say "I'm not like most females, I actually watch sports." Cool, I watch sports too, I just don't particularly enjoy all of them. Shoot, my Grams watches more sports than most men in my family, she even screams at the TV, but she does't claim to be a better woman, or like she is above anyone.  Men don't flaunt the fact they like musicals to impress females, if they like it they like it. If you like sports, cool. Just know you're no better than a female who doesn't enjoy them. 

- "I like to hunt" Shooting a deer is not that exciting to me. In my opinion hunting is boring. If you like to go sit in silence smothered in doe piss crouched in the woods... POWER TO YOU. Not my idea of a fun time. But the main point I want to make is that I feel like A LOT of females say "I like to go hunting" because they think it makes them look AWESOME to the male species. If you don't like to hunt, men might actually prefer that more. They don't want you going anyway....they want to spend time with their dude friends. (PLEASE stop before getting mad!!! If you are a girl who likes to "hunt," you do you, but don't pretend to be something you are not if you couldn't care less about it) 

So what I'm getting at is that "a man's girl" thinks that she is better than a girl who doesn't like beer, or who prefers the mall over sports and hunting. I know many girls who genuinely enjoy these things are going to feel targeted and offended, but that is far from my problem. As i've mentioned before, people like to play the victim. 

To sum it up, anyone can cause drama no matter their sex. And we shouldn't label them poorly for what they do enjoy. I personally don't like beer, so i'll go for a fruity drink, but I don't think that makes me flighty. If you like to watch football thats great, but don't label a girl who doesn't as being stuck up. All in all, everyone needs to quit pretending they are above one another because of how they act, dress, or drink. Also, don't be something you're not i.e. don't choke down a glass of straight whisky to make people think you're a hard ass. In other words, BE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

NEW Pages and Places! Check it out!!!!

Hey Sassy Society

            There are some new pages and places to check out in the Perfectly Pink and Particularly Sassy nation! I’ve recently added a Facebook Page and Twitter!They are both a working progress, but take some time to Like, Share, and be Sassy!

Stay Connected and Stay Sassy!

-Facebook.com/ParticularlySassy 

-Twitter @PPPSassy 

Thanks in advance to anyone who follows, likes, and shares! 

Why would you want to live like that? Just get over it!

“OH MY GOSH! I couldn’t live without my planner, I’m so OCD!”

“I can’t believe he said that to me, I legit had an anxiety attack!”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately; I guess I’ve been a bit depressed…”

These statements bother me because majority of the people who use such statements are not diagnosed with the mental illness described. Just because you like order doesn’t mean you’re OCD. Just because you got freaked out doesn’t mean you have anxiety. Just because you are sad doesn’t mean you’re depressed.

People say such statements like they are an accessory, people are glorifying and making such illness seem like they are simple problems. If you don’t have depression consider yourself lucky, it is a very stressful and draining illness. It is most definitely not something that you just randomly feel when you have a single bad day.

After taking Abnormal Psychology and learning more about such diseases I know that they are much more than people play them down to be.  OCD is more than just keeping your life organized in a planner or color coordinating your closet, it can overtake your life! There are those whose OCD makes it impossible to sleep and they may be unable to leave their home; they are consumed by their disease.

I just want to point out the severity of such diseases; they aren’t ideas that can be thrown around. People who have OCD, Depression, Anxiety, etc. may feel like their problems are minuscule because others blow off these issues as if they are just an accessory to one’s personality.

I would also like to add that so many people treat mental illness as a taboo topic. Yes, mental illness is scary, but that is no reason to be scared of those who have it. There is no reason to treat others different or lesser than because they are wired differently. We are all unique, how our bodies work differently from one another. We should respect that one’s illness does not describe them. We don’t judge people based on what hand they write with… something they have no control over. Why judge them over how their brain is wired? (Something they also have NO control over)

So the next time you are with someone who actually has depression and they are in a bad mood, or are legitimately down, do NOT tell them “Why don’t you just get over it?” This statement is like asking someone who is blind to just “OPEN YOUR EYES!” There are things that stand in the way of allowing them to get passed their disabilities.  

I understand that people who are healthy have a hard time understanding why someone would want to “be sad when they could just be happy!” It isn’t something that one has control over when in a situation such as this. People don’t choose to sit there and check the light switch fifty times to make sure it’s actually off all the way; it is a disorder they have to work with, these things will not just go away on their own.

Understand that these are not situations that people ask to be put into, if anything they BEG to be cured. Constantly asking oneself “what is wrong with me” makes it feel like there is no escape, like life will forever feel like it is creeping by why one deals with whatever illness they were given.

Fun fact: The girl that the movie The Exorcist is based off of actually had Tourette Syndrome and was not possessed by demons. But if we are being real it was a demon she was forced to deal with, just not the paranormal kind.

PPPS: If there is a life situation that feels out of your control, or you have a friend who feels that they are no longer of worth, find help. No one should have to battle alone.

National Suicide Prevention      1-800-273-8255

I will never amount to anything????

Something that is never settling is when someone tells you that “You won’t make it,” essentially that you are stupid! When I was a sophomore in High School, living in Florida at this time of my life, I had a very interesting Chemistry teacher. Anyone I went to School with at GJHS may know exactly who I am talking about, even if you never had her. Just for confidentiality reasons, like always, I will not name names. But if anyone is unsure who I am speaking of here are two hints, she trained dogs, and she didn’t believe in microwaves. So take that as you will.

So why does this come up??? Well today my Dad sent me a text telling me how proud he was of me, and how much he trusted my judgment. Being in college is hard, so that encouragement is VERY welcomed into my day! Thanks, Dad!

So why is this all relevant?...

I’m getting there I swear!

For the sake of this post we will refer to my old teacher as MS. S (for short).
It is not uncommon knowledge that high school students do not always have the highest self-esteem. So as an educator why would you think it is okay to constantly tear us down? Ms. S told my class several times how lazy our generation was, and how we will never amount to anything because we do not care enough. She took roughly 20 minutes a class period to talk us down, and tell us we weren't good enough.

Now I’ll be the first to admit high school kids are not perfect, but even looking back as an adult (6 years later), we did not deserve the way she spoke to us. Basically it came down to her saying that we would never amount to anything…. EVERY DAY! It wasn’t like we were slacking in class; we did our homework, and showed up regularly! We were trying for God sake!

Another incident I had with her really shook me because this was the first time a stood up to someone above me. It was the last day of class and we were taking our finals. I finished early, and because of a late night before I decided to take out my makeup bag and put some powder on my face. I had zero time that morning, and time to do it now… so I didn’t see any harm. Now let me make mention REAL quick, I did not sit there and do FULL face makeup, I put on some powder, eye liner, and that was IT! Let me also preface with the fact that Ms. S NEVER wore makeup. She was a prude, and divorced… NO WONDER.

Annnnywhoooo. 

After finishing putting on what little I did, she approached me at my desk while others were still working. She said to me “Don’t you EVER do that in my class again, that is disgusting, next time take it to the bathroom!” So instead of saying “sorry,” or “okay” I looked her dead in the eye and said “SORRY I’M SO DISGUSTING!” and she left me alone. First off, it was the last class I EVER had with her, and second how dare her. It’s not that gross, yeah it’s not something to make a habit of, but really… She was a Bitch.

After school that day I called my Dad and told him what happened… He was livid. He already knew she was crazy; but to talk to me like that he wasn't a fan. She was mean, and if she didn't already frustrate and infuriate me all year I may have handled it differently, but she pissed me off. My dad almost called the school he was so mad. As an adult my father said he saw females putting on their make up on the train into NYC every day when he went to work. It’s more common that Ms. S seems to think.

All in all, I’m not holding a grudge because she said it, but more because she said a TON of things that were unnecessary. On top of it all she talked down more than needed be to a bunch of High School kids every day. If I wasn't already sure she is miserable because of her sad life, I might take more offense, but that isn't worth it. I cannot see what would make her think she should treat a bunch of impressionable young people that they would NEVER amount to anything.

So as I approach COLLEGE GRADUATION… from a University… I think it is safe to say that Clearly I DID amount to something. So Ms. S please forgive me, but YOU WERE WRONG. Not just about me, but about a good portion of us that you said would “NEVER make it!”
 

PPPS: If I could go back I would report her for something. Not sure what, but I can guarantee there might be one person who didn't agree with me. The rest of the school would be on my side, and fully agree that she was the DEVIL.

Design Your Decals

A few days ago I decided that my new phone case needed something special! I decided I wanted to put a custom decal of my trademark "Perfectly Pink and Particularly Sassy." Although I can be very creative I knew this was a job I needed to outsource for. 

I spent a day or so perusing Etsy looking for someone who did custom vinyl decals for a decent price. I spent many hours searching through multiple Etsy shops trying to find something that would fit the back of my phone. I almost gave up because it seemed impossible to find someone with truly "custom" options. 

I finally stumbled upon DesignYourDecals shop on Etsy. I checked the options then emailed the shop owner to make sure she was able to complete my design. She responded quickly and within the hour we had a design worked out and my order was placed. She shipped the next day, last Wednesday, and I got the decals in the mail today! She was super easy to work with and she had TONS of fonts to choose from. 

Needless to say I got exactly what I wanted, and all at a ridiculously good price. I spent 3 dollars for the decal and shipping was a dollar. I couldn't be happier with the outcome, it looks great, and I got it quickly. If you ever need a custom vinyl I STRONGLY recommend this Etsy shop!

The top is my iphone five in a pink Symmetry Otter Box case. 

The bottom is the same design in pink placed on the back of my iPad air! 

Thanks Kaitlin, I'm in love! And thanks for my little extra ;) You're Awesome! 

Keep it Sassy :) 

The Loss of Life

This post is very hard to write, and I do so with a heavy heart. 

Let me start off by saying this post is very personal, and may not mean much to anyone reading it, but I'm sure it can resonate with you in one way or another. 

Today as I was finishing up some school work, and about to get started on another paper I stopped to take a break and scroll through Facebook. The first thing on my timeline was a photo my cousin posted of her and our Great Uncle Ray. I was immediately stricken with sadness as I read the post she had attached. 

I immediately BROKE down into tears, picked up my phone and dialed my cousin. She answered with such sadness in her voice. All I could mutter through my sobs was "what happened?" She told me that he had a heart attack in his front yard... 

Our conversation was short because I was sobbing, and she had been cried out, so we said our I love you's and hung up. 

I am thankful he had a very good life. I am even more thankful that I was able to see him quite recently. I just wish I would have known that was the last time I would see him. I was able to see him during my recent visit to New Jersey last month. We sat with my dad, grandfather, and boyfriend to share a few pizza's for my birthday lunch. I will forever cherish the conversation shared that day. I am also very happy that my boyfriend was able to meet him. 

Let me make some quick connections for everyone. As you read in my cousins post, she asks that he say hi to Grandma. Our grandmother, our Dad's mom, passed away when we were six. Her and our Uncle Ray were siblings. My Grandma passed away the day after my sixth birthday from cancer. Although I was very young that was by far one of the most difficult days of my entire life. Losing her was very hard, and growing up knowing I missed out on so much of her is painful to think about. 

October 18th was exactly 16 years since she passed, and I was lucky to have visited her this year. It was by far a difficult day, I stood in front of her plot and broke down. I know she is in a much better place, but the selfish side of me can't help but to hurt that I missed time with her. My youngest cousin was three during her passing, so she has even less memory than her sister and me. Grandma's passing still gets to me quite often, but I'm glad that she will be there as my uncle joins her and they are finally reunited after sixteen years apart. 

Rest In Peace,

Grandma and Uncle Ray

I love and miss you both with all of my heart. 

Be yourself, unless you're fat... (Mixed signals in media and social networking)

I'd be lying if I said I'm always happy. It's hard in this world to stay chipper ALL THE TIME! Yes, we should be happy to be alive, to have food, shelter, family, etc. Besides all the stress I deal with daily, there is so much out there that affects not only me, but any human with emotions. 

I feel like there are so many mixed signals that are thrown at us in media, social networks, and daily life. We get told that everyone is beautiful no matter what, then it's contradicted somewhere with "you should do (Blank) if you care about yourself." All those fit people saying things like "you said tomorrow yesterday," and "how can anyone be happy being average?" That talk really brings people down. Being told you're not good enough is hurtful. There is a HUGE difference between being motivational and being rude, mean, or a bully! 

Girls are forced into thin ideals to the point where girls at 120lbs feel fat. Why does the word FAT even exist? It's stressful! Yeah there are those commercials by Special K about being more than a number, cool, but there are also weight loss commercials after it selling some kind of pill or system to make you "look better!" 

The fact that I visit one of my favorite YouTubers channel and there are comments upon comments saying "you're fat" or "you look gross" and several other variations, is NOT okay.  Why are people mean? Is it actually necessary to say those things? Does it serve a real purpose? Or do people really just do it because they are mean! I would rather people judge me for my opinions and not how I look. In all reality I know people just do these acts out of jealousy, boredom, or because it boosts their confidence putting others down. 

I'm absolutely sick of feeling down on myself because there are so many people saying I'm going to fail. It may not be directed at me, and companies do these things to get us to buy their products. If they tell us we "look good no matter our size," then we wouldn't buy their gym memberships or diet pills. 

How sick to think that it is someone's job to make you feel like garbage in order to sell their product. They make their living telling us we aren't good enough, and to "just do it" (famous line from a company who makes quite a bit of money making people feel like crap about themselves.) "Oh you can't fit into our clothes... You're too fat for them. You should work out to fit into our workout clothes so you can work out!" *eye roll*

Like many females I feel like I'm ugly, fat, and worthless because I don't desire to work my butt off on diets and exercise. I like food, and soda, and things that are bad for me. The sickest part is I don't drink alcohol even close to regularly, maybe once a month, and I've never done drugs. All that hard work to do good things and still feeling like a failure for not being a size two. 

One last note. I'm sick of people bashing the song "All about that Bass" as "skinny shaming."  At least give the bigger girls one reason to feel good about the way they look. God knows we are sick of looking at Victoria's Secret models and not particularly loving our bodies.  

Pick your battles. 

PPPS: 

Stop leaving comments on someone's appearance. You look pathetic, and in the end people are judging you more for saying it rather than the person you saying it about.


Related Posts
Why I am ALL ABOUT THAT BASS!

The Skinny on being skinny, and not so skinny..

Cohabitation? How about no!

This is mostly my opinion, but I have research to back up my beliefs. I do not plan on spitting out a bunch of statistics to everyone, you can google it if you want. But check google scholar, or ebscohost. 

I've always grown up in a home where it was frowned upon to live with someone of the opposite sex before marriage. Now, as far as most traditional ideas go I don't believe the way my family does on much of it. I believe in Gay marriage, sex before marriage, and other things my family "frowns upon." Something I do agree with is not living together before marriage, but my beliefs go further than just christian values. 

Fun Facts From Erica:

-People who live together before marriage and engagement are less likely to have a successful marriage. (DIVORCE) 

-People who move in together after engagement have a better chance than those who get engaged while living together. 

-Couples who Cohabitate will have less fulfilling sex lives after marriage. 

-Couples who cohabitiate, and never get married (common law), are generally better off then if they get married. in other words, they will stay together longer. 

So basically if you move in after you get engaged your chances of not getting divorced are slightly better. There has been much research and multiple studies done that have found these facts to be true. Of course there are always those who do not fall into these issues, people do have successful marriages after having cohabitated. But there is much evidence that makes the statistics very daunting, and not something I want to test out for myself. 

Some of my own reasons for wanting to wait for marriage to live together is just the idea that I want the experience to be new! I feel like it would suck to live together, get married, and just go back to living together. I feel like the wifely duties will be more fun when I am actually a wife, and not just splitting rent/playing house. 

My boyfriend and I are not yet engaged, and I do enjoy taking care of him, but I personally feel that marriage is a necessary component in the grand scheme of things! Lucky for me my boyfriend and I are on the same page. Although we will be looking for a home to share eventually we will not be living there together until I have a ring on my finger, and a marriage license in my hands!!!

Dear Guests! With Love, Your Serving Staff!

So I would like to take some time to educate the everyday human being who seems to think they know all, and are above rules. 

So I understand some people have been privileged and have never had to serve in a restaurant. For those of you who've come into a restaurant, never having been a server, do not act like you know the answers to how to run such a business. 

Let me give a real life example. I had a gentlemen come in, and he was sat in my section. At this point in the day we were on what we like to call a "False Wait." This is when we put new guests on a wait because we are backed up in the kitchen, short staffed, or both. We do this because if we sat everyone right away customers would expect to be served when there is no one available to do so, or they would be adding to a BUTT load of tickets in the kitchen who already have too much to handle at the moment. (there are only so many things you can put on a grill, and so many friers to fry up the food!) 

This man I got stuck with was sat and as soon as I got to his table he said "Why were we asked to wait when there are tables open?" So I VERY kindly replied "Because we are very backed up and if you were to be sat earlier we may not have been able to get to you right away. So we have you wait up front to keep from overloading the staff, or making you feel like you are being ignored." He decided my response was not good enough and rebutted with "But we could at least have been sat and given some drinks!!!" So I nicely restated myself and took their drink order. 

Long story short he would have found a reason to complain either way! Had we sat him and he waited for me for more than 30 seconds, or if I had to say "Oh I know you're here but I wont be able to put your food in for another fifteen minutes," he would have been pissed that he was sat and not able to be taken care of... So it was a lose lose for myself. Good news was by the end of their visit the food was so good it put him in a better mood and they tipped me well over 20% of their bill. 

So here is the lesson to learn from this. If you come into a restaurant and see open tables, but you are still asked to wait, DO NOT PUT UP A FUSS! There are aspects you do not see/understand beyond the fact there are open tables in the room! 

On another note, TIPPING!!!! I had a table during this mess of an afternoon which was a table of six, and I kept getting sat with more tables as I was taking just their drink order. Also, to my luck, the lady at the table (Mother) had resting bitch face, meaning she seemed in quite the sour mood the entire time. They got all their food and drinks in a timely manor, with little waiting time between. (Might I add it was no secret I was busy, I WAS RUNNING AROUND..... like a chicken with my head cut off...) She mentions to me she had a free burger on their Royalty Card (hint hint for where I work) and asked if I could make sure it came off the bill. So I did that, and dropped of their bill and credit card, a WHOLE 10$ cheaper. When I got back to check my tip after they had left I was LIVID! The bill after the discount was 51 dollars... the lady left me five dollars and wrote (GREAT SERVICE! THANK YOU!) This my friends is what the service industry calls a "Verbal TIP" and they are NOT WELCOME! Tip me in money! You just saved ten dollars... NOW GIVE IT BACK! 

LESSON: if you use coupons or get a discount, always tip on the amount before the discounts.... And tip on the service, not the food. If your server is rude and clearly not caring about your table then tip as you please, but we do not make your food or control how quickly it is cooked.

I hope I have enlighten those who were unaware of some inner workings of the service industry. If you learned nothing then I was at least able to complain about the stuff I put up with! 

PPPS: If you are a server comment with some of your stories, I would love to hear about all the fun things happening in SERVERLIFE!