It's just past midnight as I'm writing this. I'm having a moment and I don't know what else to do. I'm very nervous over starting this new YouTube Channel. I'm scared it's not going to have the response I hope for, I'm scared it won't have a positive view. I'm just stressed about putting myself out there.
When I started this Blog I wanted it to be completely anonymous. I didn't want to share my name, who I was, or my photo. I quickly got over that when I accidentally posted a link to an Adore Delano page on Facebook and my friends and family saw it. My Dad, was super cool about it. If anything he was thrilled over my writing skills.... Which are non existent... But he's my dad, he says he proud over all the little things I do. Regardless I figured "what the hell!" I'm not one who generally cares what people think, let's go do this!
I know not everyone on my Facebook, or in my life has read what I've posted. And even less care about it or want to read it. I have a few people, especially some over seas who read it regularly. It's scary to wonder what people think. (Although I tell myself I don't care what others think I still think about it..)
As tonight goes on I can't sleep because I'm stressed with my summer classes ending, and this whole wondering what I'm doing with myself. I feel like a complete psycho starting something like YouTube... I don't plan to be successful or a "Youtuber" but I don't wanna put myself in a situation where I look back and say "why the FUCK did I do that..." "What was I thinking" "I'm an idiot...." A lot of the same thoughts I think when old boyfriends come to mind.
I guess I'll let it ride out. Can someone please tell me if they think I'm making a HUGE MISTAKE!!!??? I feel like I'm doing all this and I'm the only one who takes anything from it.. That defeats the purpose. Regardless I'm a worrier, and I overthink everything. It's late so I'm gonna end it here.
PPPS
Thanks to those who read my blog regularly. I really enjoy knowing there are those who care about what I have to say!
Growing up so far apart has been really sad for me. I always think to myself "what if we lived closer". Obviously we would have our spats, because we both have such strong opinions and personalities but I honestly feel like we would do everything together. Being able to read your blog is awesome because I get to learn the things about you that I dont really know too much about. I give you so much credit for being able to put yourself out there. Keep doing what you are doing cuzzie ♡
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