Imagine you are talking to your best friend about their relationship, she tells you her and her partner are fighting, and she feels bad for making them angry. You try to help her figure out why they are not agreeing, and talk it out. You give suggestions for a better relationship and support her if she decides to stay with her partner or if they break up.
Now imagine you are talking to your best friend and she tells you her relationship is rough, and her boyfriend hit her because she forgot to call him, or because she was out too late with her friends..... Hopefully you would change how you handle the situation. The problem with this is that many girls allow the abuse, they stick around with a partner who hurts them because they try to find the good in that person. All in all,they blame themselves. Girls get comfortable with someone and they refuse to leave and play "the dating game" again. They give excuses for why they deserve how they were treated, why they cannot leave, or why their partner "didn't mean it and wont do it again."
Females especially tend to blame themselves for what happens, they apologize too often for things they don't need to be sorry for. Domestic abuse is common, regardless if it is a smack on the face or a punch in the eye. It is something we should NEVER take lightly. If you have a friend in this situation, or you are in this situation, you need to know there is NO REASON you should EVER forgive such behavior! No man should ever put his hands on you in a negative way. If you have a friend in this situation remove them, give them a safe place to stay. Most importantly, DO NOT tell the person who is doing the abusing where their parter is, keep their location safe! People who are willing to harm their partner will go to any length to find them. People who have the audacity to abuse the person they "love," are crazy, they stop at nothing to maintain control.
Something people don't realize is that abuse is more than physical harm. Abuse can come in the form of yelling, hurtful words, and unneeded comments. I have luckily never dated a guy who was physically abusive... but I have dated a guy who was emotionally abusive. He would twist my words, call me names, and worst of all he would always use this phrase "You are SO RIDICULOUS!" I hated when he would say that to me. The worst part was he would say that when I would dislike something he had done... he would say that when I was hurt because he cheated on me... that was clearly very ridiculous of me to feel that way! I finally got out of that relationship for good.
My current relationship is PERFECT! I have the best boyfriend any girl could ask for! He treats me like a princess, he has never called me a "Bitch," and he certainly has NEVER laid a hand on me!
Anger should be contained and controlled, if you cannot control it the way you like to control your partner you don't deserve them. Abuse can hurt more than just skin deep, it bruises the mind. It is harmful to a persons self esteem, and it can become the source of self hate and depression when one is stuck in that sort of situation.
As a friend know when someone needs your help, even if it means calling the cops on the person they are in a relationship with. Your friend may be mad, they may not understand why you would do this to them... But one day they will thank you. It is hard to recognize something is wrong when you are on the inside... Outsiders are able to see things differently because they are not blinded by what they think of as LOVE...
It is always important to do what is best for your friends, even if they are in a good relationship with a person you CANT STAND. If you see a red flag, such as bruises, or too many tears shed for the wrong reasons, you need to stand up to them and tell them they are worth more than that! Dealing with someone who is abusive is never the ideal route, but it will happen, it is best to help before its too late.
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