Plus Sized??? Seriously??

Tonight I was scrolling through my Facebook and saw that Calvin Klein has signed their first Plus Sized model…. Typically I would congratulate such an influential company for making this leap, but I have to say I was confused when I saw the model.

She is hardly “Plus Sized,” or even what I would consider to be plus sized. She’s not “too” skinny as previous models have been… But she is not what I would imagine when they say “Plus Size.”

As a “plus sized” woman myself I feel the term has less negative connotation as it did when we were first using it. It should never be used negatively. That being said, those who are actually modeling “plus sized” clothing for stores like Forever 21 and H&M are closer to what I think the term represents. This model, Myla Dalbesio, seems to represent more of an average girl. She still fits into the regular sizes at stores, rarely has to put clothes back because they make her look fat, and has minimal rolls when she bends over.

She is very beautiful, fit, and possibly a size 10 (8)

because she has wide hips. She would never be called “curvy” because she has some extra meat around her mid line or hips. To me it doesn’t scream what a plus size model is.

All of that being said, why do we have to label models with the term Plus size? Why can’t we just put a girl who is a size 14 in CK clothes, take her photo, and encourage woman of that same size to wear the brand?!  When we shop at clothing stores why is there a separate section for curvy woman, they should just make their regular clothes in larger sizes! I realize that some clothes would not look the same on a size 2 and a size 14, but they should still allow the option for buyers. Not every plus size woman is built the same but still require a larger size than just a large (or what stores label as large).

This battle is one I’m sure we will be fighting for years to come, but it still infuriates me that we have to label sizes and body types when making clothing and seeing models in ads. I would really like to see woman represented in all brands and sizes without labels. Companies and magazines say they sign these “plus size” girls to seem more relatable, and likely to have more buyers, but they aren’t actually representing what they are trying to sell.  Editing still happens and ideals are still skewed. 

I also did some research on Myla and found her wikipida page which states she is now a size 8 and no longer holds a title for “Plus sized”

PPPS:

I enlisted the help of my husband to help me take photos… real plus size. If Clavin needs help with this definition he call me and I’ll be happy to help.

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Model vs. Normal

PPPS: My photoshop is a bit rough....

Super Bowl Body Shaming #BornThisWay

I wanted to take a moment to touch on this previous Super Bowl Half Time show!

First things first, Lady Gaga was absolutely amazing! Her LIVE vocals were on point, she strutted across the stage in heels with poise, and she JUMPED OFF THE FREAKING ROOF! If the stadium had a roof she would have BLOWN it off! I’m pretty biased because I have been a Gaga fan since Just Dance and Starstuck took over the radio in 2008. She is one of my idols, and I even did a project on her in my college communications course. When I was 19 I visited my Dad in NYC and before we went to see Wicked he took me to her families restaurant (Joanne Trattoria) for dinner. I was so elated… I was even brought to tears after I met her mother. I could go on for days as to why she is absolutely amazing in all that she does.

As a lady myself I know the difficulties and pressures society puts on us to be thin. After her outfit change on stage, Gaga wore a two-piece outfit; similar to ones she has worn in many performances before. This time, like others, she has been faced with media saying, “she’s too fat” or “her gut was hanging over her pants.” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! You just saw the result of HOURS of preparation, years of songs, and hard work by not only Gaga, but her costume creator, her back up dancers, her band, and every single person around the stage adding light effects to the performance, and YOU are judging her BODY! That woman has to be a size six at MOST! She is beyond healthy and shows that she has more talent than the majority of the Americans watching the show.

We strive as an Internet society to stop body shaming, we can’t make fun of a woman for being overweight, or say something about someone anorexic. So why do we get to do such things to someone because they are famous. Regardless if we try to stop this garbage talk it still happens, and it is a constant flow from people behind a computer screen. People never say anything publicly because that would be too difficult; it’s easy behind a keyboard to write these hurtful words.

If these people put their pictures on the Internet in the same outfit the comments they write would make more sense. She puts herself out there as an Artist to preform and provide entertainment. If you aren’t entertained change the channel or entertain yourself. Her body, ANYONES body, is not our problem or concern. As many would say, “No wonder women are so self conscious.” They are faced with negative media about a woman whose body would be coveted by the majority.  If I was able to fit into that outfit and look half as good as her I would be ecstatic!

 

Regardless, if I see anyone on my Facebook page or YouTube subscription body shaming her, or any other woman, I will be deleting them. If you wouldn’t say that comment about your own mother, don’t say it about a stranger!

Fortunately, Gaga has taken a wonderful stance on the shaming she has received. She is extremely admirable, and continues to show she is a fantastic role model. Unfortunately, not all women are this strong and resilient, but I hope that her example will continue to empower females, and males, around the world.  

Gaga's Response

I Don't Write the Rulebook!!!

I am currently a woman in my early twenties, married, two cats, and two jobs. Although I spend 40 hours a week as a behavior therapist I spend another 10 as a server. Regardless what your opinions are on servers, or those who work in the service industry, it can be assumed you have come into contact with one of us before.

I work at a chain restaurant that is very family friendly, and attracts a variety of people. The location I work at tends to have pretty good customers who typically tip well and are kind. Although I’ve had my share of awful guests, I have to say I’ve been pretty lucky with those I come in contact with during these short shifts. 

Something that most people struggle with in any industry is being assumed to have control over aspects within the restaurant or store, depending on the business, that are out of their control and above their pay grade.

 Just last night I was asked to work a shift I was not scheduled for, I wasn’t thrilled, but I managed to suck it up for a few extra bucks. I had a table of 7, two older folks, their son and daughter in law, and three granddaughters. The table wasn’t rude or extremely needy, just made comments that made me question if they understood the chain of command… and the fact that I was literally at the bottom of that chain with little control over certain aspects of their visit.

As your server I am expected to be nice, get your drinks and food, take your payment, and make your experience as pleasant as possible. I do not, and cannot, control how long it takes your food to come out, what your food tastes like, or how much it costs. That being said, incase people haven’t figured it out yet, the company does not pay me… I get 2.13 an hour, which barely covers taxes; your tips are the only source of income I see in this job. If you do not tip, or don’t tip adequately, I don’t make money. In other words, I owe money during tax season and I don’t see a paycheck from the company. 

(Getting back to the issue that is well drawn out at this point.)

This table ordered an appetizer; it was pretzel bites that come with a beer cheese to dip. The entire appetizer costs 5$ that includes 13 mini pretzels and 2oz of the cheese dip. The second I set down the food the lady at the table asked, “Can we get another cheese?” I said “sure, it is going to be a 1.39 charge, is that okay?” Immediately the grandmother said, “OH MY, That is outrageous, we only get this small amount of cheese? That’s just not acceptable” mind you, her entire exasperation was so dramatic… you’re paying 12 dollars for a chicken sandwich and are complaining about a less than 2$ cup of cheese….. I realize that amount of money seems ridiculous, but if you don’t want to pay retail for food then eat at home… Not everything is free. You already get free refills and all the ranch you could want NO CHARGE! Not to mention the “BOTTOMLESS FRIES!”

I’m use to people feeling entitled about getting things free or expecting people to cater to them. That’s not the point here. This woman had a dramatic overreaction to something that I had NO control over. Her exasperation was clear that she wanted me to change the situation, or do something about it. As I previously mentioned, I don’t set the prices, and being EXTRA over some cheese is not something you need give me an earful over. (Call corporate if it is that DEEP.)

Unfortunately this is not the only industry in which people get uppity with workers over prices or discounts. I’ve seen many people yelling at sales associates for not receiving a discount when they have no control over how the systems takes off discounts, or what qualifies for these discounts.

If there is an issue we can help resolve or work with you to find a solution that works, then we will do our best. But expecting us, rather demanding us, to fix it is something that makes you look stupid and will just keep you from getting your desired results.

I’m not going to change peoples attitudes, or sense of entitlement… But I hope that if anything, those who agree with me will help those around them understand that their attitudes and anger towards those who have no control over certain situations are not rightly placed. Lets all take time when things get frustrating to recognize what the appropriate response is to these difficult (and clearly “UNBELIEVABLE”) situations. 

What's the Rush???

Something I have noticed is the Millennial Generation’s need to be in a constant rush.  We often rush into things just to fulfill a milestone, we often don’t take time to evaluate our options or even take a hard look at what we are about to do. Sometimes we rush into good things: like college, or jobs. Other times we rush into things that could be reevaluated, or jus taken slower: relationships, marriage, and children. We sometimes take the first opportunity given, even if it isn’t the one we need long term.

I myself, not to brag, took my time in my relationship and spent three years getting to know my significant other before we got engaged, and we took another whole year to get married. As far as I am concerned this was a great amount of time to get to know one another and learn what is necessary before jumping into the commitment of marriage. Some wait longer and that’s just fine, but there are some who rush into this milestone of life and it quickly becomes something that “was,” it doesn’t continue on as their “forever.”

Facebook has this funny ability to share people’s life choices, and I have been privilege to many versions of this reality for others and their relationships. It is one thing to get engaged and realize that it was a poor choice, then back out before marriage becomes the outcome. Sometimes that engagement is the “rush” of reality to show a couple that maybe things aren’t what they are supposed to be for their relationship.

I have seen too many people on my timeline getting married and within a year/year and a half that is no longer the status. Most people I’ve seen do not overly broadcast their divorce, but it is quite evident when they once had wedding photos then later you see those pictures deleted and new significant others pictured on their timelines. I have seen this with four different “friends” on my Facebook.

I absolutely do NOT know the seriousness of their situations. There could have been abuse, or infidelity that occurred behind the computer screen. Regardless, all of the instances I’ve witnessed seemed as though the wedding happened just as quickly as the divorce. We all saw the 45-day marriage of Kim Kardasian and how that stumped our countries’ accepted media. The popular 45-day marriage is a great example of those I’ve described, it was a quick marriage that ended just as quickly as it began.

I have a hard time trying to understand how you could possibly rush into something so serious as marriage. To take the time to plan a wedding, vow your love in front of your loved ones, and then decide that was a mistake a few months later..? I’m not judging these people who have been in this situation, but I find it interesting that this mistake is so common around me.  The only common idea is that people are rushing into life; they feel this is what must happen for them to be accepted, or seen as a successful adult.

Regardless of the situations, or reasons, it’s unfortunate that we feel the need to race the clock on life's journeys and end up wasting special moments, like weddings, on something that wasn’t fit for our forever. I just hope that anyone reading this knows they shouldn’t be in a hurry to complete life, it’s not a race.

The Magic of Disney!

Hey all! Remember me??? It has been quite some time since I posted on here. No excuses are valid, but I have been working two jobs and being a wife for the past few months… Anyhoooo this Friday we are celebrating two things (well three) the obvious is veterans day, then my baby Leo is turning 4 years old, and lastly Matthew and I are beginning our honeymoon and heading down to Walt Disney World!

My first experience with Disney was when I was 2 years old, and although I don’t remember it on my own, I have tons of home videos that remind me of the fun and the magic! At 24 years old you wouldn’t think Disney can be fun, but I still find so much excitement as we get closer to our visit. We were lucky enough to spend a Spring break there my Junior year of college when my friend Derek worked in the college program and HOOKED me up with cheap deals, and free admission to the parks. This time we are going to celebrate our marriage.

We have booked our hotel at the POP Century Resort, and are spending four days with park hoppers in lovely Orlando on the WDW property. Even though we want to have fun and be relaxed I have already taken time to book fast passes and dinner reservations for the duration of our stay.

There is something about entering the parks, even as an adult, that is so exciting: the magical music, enticing smells, and laughter of children and families. Getting older you get to experience things differently. As a child I loved meeting the characters, getting their autographs and taking photos with them. Now we get to enjoy doing the bigger rides, experiencing the shows, and really seeing the cast members at work to make everyone’s day exhilarating.

Disney pulls out all the stops to ensure everyone enjoys their visit, and that is one of the best parts! They go to great lengths to ensure you never see a cowboy in futureworld or a character in their uniform eating lunch by the castle. The various Mickey heads in the fixtures, vivid scenery, and chipper cast members add to the experience.

Although I have yet to begin this next vacation I can guarantee it will be amazing, rain or shine. One major benefit of going as an adult is heading over to Epcot and “drinking around the world.” You can have Margaritas in Mexico, Sake in Japan, Wine in France, and Beer in Germany. Fun story. When we went a few years back we got margaritas in Mexico and then headed over to what is now the Frozen ride, basically a boat ride through Norway, and I had to chug my drink because the line was going SUPER fast and knew I wouldn’t be allowed to have it on the ride… Lets just say boat rides and alcohol do not mix…No vom, but it was pretty interesting.

As I wrap up on my excitement I would like to mention something pretty cool. In the last few years Disney has release a popular set of toys called TSUM TSUMs. They are miniature plush stuffed animals that come in VARIOUS characters that appear in the movies. THEY HAVE EVERY CHARACTER YOU COULD IMAGINE. I only have one of these dolls, but my cousin has almost every single one ever made, even some duplicates with minor differences. She was even featured on one of Disney’s websites showing off her AMAZING collection. Take time and see for yourself. InstagramPage OHMYDisney Article

It really goes to show that no matter your age you can find all the magic Disney has to offer!