This is the third time i've started this post. I have tons and tons of thoughts flying through my head! I feel like I have shared very little about myself with my readers. Obviously I don't wanna scare anyone with all my petty issues or anything, but there is a huge part of my life that may show more of why I am who I am, or what I deal with home wise.
So I'll start by saying that I, like many people these days, am a child of divorce. My parents split when I was seven, and as much as it hurt I realize that was the best thing for us. I love both my parents, they are both still in my life, but they were only brought together for one purpose... to create me. That sounds conceited, but that is literally the only positive thing that came from their marriage.
Fast forward to when I was in the sixth grade, my mom remarried a guy who was not my favorite because I wasn't ready to share her with anyone. As much as I wasn't a fan he was really good to both of us. Although he didn't show much love, he was a good Step Dad... Because of his job we were relocated to Florida my sophomore year of high school. I loved my friends and life in Florida, some things were good to be changed, but I miss the people I met down there more than anything.
Thanksgiving my Junior year of high school, this holiday fell on the same week as my mom's 47th birthday. Family was in town, and school was on break, I was recently out of a car due to just having crashed my first car the week before. As family was heading home my mom had already been battling a headache for a week (something she thought was a sinus infection). Long story short, it resulted in a trip to the hospital, three brain surgeries, several months in rehab, and blindness. My mother is 100% blind, something she had lived with for exactly 47 years was now gone.
When we figured out life was too hard taking care of my mother who needed a 24hour care giver at the time, and no family in Florida, we moved back to Indiana for my senior year of high school. I was brought to distress again having to pick up and move, after having practically lost my mother. When I returned I was able to pick up where I left off with friends in Indiana, and was able to start a new life... Again...
After being at Ball State for two years I learned something else that shattered my world. My step father did not see himself fit to take care of his newly blind wife, and after some awful situations, he left my mom. This was literally the second hardest thing to happen to me; after my moms new disability this came in as a hard second. I still feel abandoned, hurt, lied to, and so many other feelings. (I'll get more into this later when I feel it necessary and comfortable.)
I have a strong belief that God has a plan. After all i've been through I still believe there is a God, and he has a plan for me. My faith has been tested, and I've been shaken to the ground. I by no means have had the worst life, or the hardest times. People out there suffer through poverty, rape, abuse, and other terrible tragedies. I know my life has not been ALL bad, but I've still taken my fair share of crap. I never expect pity, nor do I think people will understand, but these experiences have shaped me and who I am. I feel like sharing these issues of my life will help people better understand the things I write about, and what may come up on here and on my YouTube Channel.
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