America Needs Equal Rights...NOW!!!!

As a college student I live in a very cultured environment, there are different races, religions, and sexual orientations all around me. I am hardly shocked when someone shares that they are gay, or that they are an atheist. If anything I support the LGBTQ more than I stand up for straight people. I'm far from the average Christian female, I'm for same sex marriage and I don't judge others for their choices like many "good" Christians tend to do. 

While I was sitting in one of my three diversity classes today we were talking about "heterosexual privilege." Basically heterosexual privilege is the rights heterosexuals come by naturally, but things that homosexual couples get judged on often. As an example, straight couples rarely have trouble adopting or getting a job because of their sexuality. For some reason Gay's have a much more difficult time obtaining the same jobs, and adopting a child who needs a home/family due to the way they identify sexually. 

Now this is what PISSES ME OFF!!! I have a hard time understanding how someone could be passed over as a teacher because they are gay when they have the same, if not better, qualifications as other teachers who have obtained the same degrees and now the teaching jobs. The reason many homosexuals get passed over is because society has the view that if a women identifies as a lesbian she will be likely to molest little girls, and the same goes for gay males and little boys.. This is absolutely absurd and IGNORANT!!! Anyone has the ability to be a pedophile, even a straight male who is married. The idea that ones sexual identity would affect how they can function as a professional is one of the most ignorant things anyone could ever assume.  

A majority of the time I hear of an issue between a student and a teacher it is almost always a heterosexual experience. There may be some who are homosexual relationships, but the adult committing the crime may have identified as straight. The same goes for when people assume that someone who is gay is more likely to hit on them. For example, if a man came in contact with a gay man, the straight man claims he is afraid of being hit on. Truth is, just because they are gay does not mean they are out for every living breathing male. I'm a straight female, it doesn't mean I am hitting on/flirting with every guy I come in contact with. The same goes for anyone in the LGBTQ community. Trust me, they probably aren't hitting on you, they have standards, and if you assume they want you I can guarantee they don't... you aren't their type. GET OVER YOURSELF. 

Plenty of LGBTQ couples are just as fitted as any other family on the block, yet they are unable to foster children or adopt. There are cases when children are removed from the home due to the homosexuality of the parents; even if the child is 100% taken care of, and not abused or neglected. I find this frustrating because there are families who have more kids in order to receive tax deductions/more welfare money, yet they get to keep their child. 

No child should sit in a foster home when there are willing couples who can adopt them as their own. No child should be left in a orphanage when there are families that can take those children in, and treat them just as well as a heterosexual couple who can bear their own children. 

I told my boyfriend if we ever decided to have a child, after we get married, and we were unable to conceive that I have no problem adopting. I do have one stipulation, if I do adopt (or put a child up for adoption) I will only do so with an agency who works with gay couples. If I was single and wanted to use a sperm bank in order to have a child, I would only do so for a company who provides their product to lesbian couples. If someone is unable to use these agencies then I should not use them; I am equal to someone who identifies as homosexual, and they are equal to me. 

There is always that ONE person!

Regardless if you've only been in high school, or you've attended college, you will know what I am talking about. There is always that one person in every class that talks waayyyy too much! They always have a comment, or a story that they MUST contribute and share with the class. They are that person you roll your eyes at, and pray they get the hint that NO ONE CARES!!!! 

In most cases this person has no clue that everyone cannot stand them, and they think everyone values their contributions. Rarely... probably never, do they understand that they are the most obnoxious person in the class. They always have their hand up, and they have a personal story for ALMOST everything!!! 

Now I must admit I probably run into these people more often than most due to my major in school. If you didn't already know I am a psychology student, and my classes use real world examples more often than not. This could be the reason I encounter these people soooooo much! Unfortunate for me. 

There is another type of person I have encountered, The ALWAYS LATE person. I swear these people are almost as annoying as the TALKS TOO MUCH students. I have had classmates enter a class up to 45 minutes late... at this point I don't see a point in showing up. If I oversleep and class has already started then I am not going.       These people are always late too... not just once in a while, they come in late every class, and its not just 3 or 4 minutes late... it's 20 - 30 minutes. 

As i've mentioned in past posts I am a very on-time person. I refuse to be late, or barely make it into a place on time. I show up early and am ready as the professor begins. How someone can be okay showing up over 5 minutes late is beyond me. 

I was in a counseling psychology course last fall and there was a girl who showed up 30 - 45 minutes late every class. I know she had mentioned she had two kids, but if you are going to be late to a 9:45 class every day you should pick a course that better fits your schedule, or arrange to be there on time. In my opinion there is NO reason to be late EVERY SINGLE CLASS! Shit happens, you may hit traffic, get a flat, etc.... But that does not happen every day! If you are hitting traffic everyday you should probably leave earlier. I have always lived on or near campus, I walk, and I leave at decent times. For instance, if I have class at 12 and know it takes me 15-20 minutes to get to class I won't leave my apartment at 11:50.. The latest I will leave is 11:35... 

I don't claim to hold the secrets to life. Being on time is not a foreign concept, TONS of people show up on time EVERY DAY. I just can NOT understand people who have the nerve to walk in over 30 minutes late on a regular basis. It's rude, inconsiderate, and a waste of your money as a paying college student. 

College Parties & Drunk Freshman... I'm too old for this...

So I'm going to go ahead and say I was a stupid Freshman at one point in my college career. I went out with my friends to a frat house, drank too much, and snuck home without being caught by the UPD. I was smart about it for the most part, but I know there was someone who had to find me annoying. 

Fast forward to now, I am a senior, and over stupid freshmen antics. Now that I am old enough to go to the bars I cannot stand stupid keg parties with too many minors. I understand college kids under 21 are all about going where they can have fun, but they are super annoying and think they are "too cool for school". Problem is, they are not smart about their drinking, and they tend to just be a hot mess, loud, and super annoying. They run around screaming, they think they can be rude to those around them, and they are just plain ignorant. 

I'm gonna let you in on a secret, I mentioned this in my video about college, when you carry a backpack around at 11PM on a Saturday night you are NOT fooling anyone. We all know there is alcohol in your bag, and we know you're underage. Cops prey on the stupidity of you when you are obvious about hiding your alcohol, or run when you see their car coming down the street. 

(Just some fashion DONTS I caught tonight. Left is some frat guy with too short of shorts, and the right is a girl who rolled up her high wasted shorts so everyone knew what size she was wearing and how to wash them just in case she threw up on them.... lol) 

Tonight I was offering to drive around my friends who wanted to drink, so I was the Designated Driver. Mind you, all my friends are 21 or over, so we were doing NOTHING illegal. My friends roommate got invited to a keg party, and we showed up to a house full of these annoying kids trying too hard. They were over dressed to stand around in a hot house full of drunk ass people. I was over the crowdedness. My friend and I had to BATTLE to get around a crowd just to get to a bathroom... which we never found... 

Eventually we gave up. It was hot, crowded, and I was too sober to deal with all these idiots... I needed an adult drink to deal with all the dumb kids drinking cheap beer. My bestie, Jaclyn, and I decided to blow that popsicle stand and do something else. We decided to take an adventure to the next town over, something we do on occasion, and get some food!  We got to hang out, drive around, get lost, laugh, talk about life, and eventually get some bomb ass food. 

(Me Left, and my bestie Jaclyn on the Right) 

(funny story, we got lost...
 So I typed in the place we wanted to go,
and it took us to the county sign instead of the city center....
 we made some fun out of it!) 

The main thing I'm getting to is that I don't have to be drinking/drunk to have fun! Doing something fun with someone you're close to can be just as fun as a party. In this case hanging out with my bestie was 100% more fun than any stupid party. Don't get me wrong, her and I will sometimes go to the bar and hang out, or watch TV, go to dinner, cook at our apartments, millions of things that end up being better than a stupid party. Now I LOOOOOVE going out to a club and dancing, but spending time with your good friends is way better than killing your liver on crappy beer. 

PPPS:

This is not my public service announcement about drinking.. Unless my little cousins are reading this.. then yes, DONT drink until you're 21. To everyone else, do as you please, its not wrong to have fun and do college things like frat parties. Be smart, and be safe. Most of all, know that there are tons of people finding your stupid drunk ass annoying as hell!!!!! 

You're entitled to your feelings!

I'm slightly livid because I feel like there is so many times where people can't do me favors or treat me with respect, but expect me to do things for them. I don't know that my reasons are valid, or that I am "right," but that is how I feel. 

This may come off rant like, it sort of is, I just feel like people are so self absorbed. I'm completely sick and tired of people asking me what is wrong then getting mad because they don't like my reason... Example: If I were to bring up to a friend that I was mad at the way they ignored me then I get a response like "You always think people are out to get you, no one is ignoring you, and you need to quit taking things so personal." Now this exact issue has not happend... But it's what I'm forced to deal with. Why do people ask you what's wrong, or say "I want to help you, but you never tell me whats going on" then get mad at you for why you feel the way you do. 

Feelings are important to people, very rarely are they ridiculous, or un-called for. Most of the time poeple do not just make up feelings in order to cause problems. If anything people keep their feelings to themselves in fear of being judged. I am one of those people who is scared to share my feelings with others because people have proved to me they either do not take me/my problems seriously, or they don't care enough to actually hear me out. 

I am beyond frustrated at this moment, I'm sure people can relate. It's hard to ball up and tell someone they are hurting you, or that they are doing something you are not a fan of. Why do people shut you down when they do not agree. People do it all the time, they don't like what they hear, or feel threatened, so they retaliate in forms of either defense or just ignoring you all together. 

It gets old having to keep to yourself, especially when things begin to eat at you. I know there are some things better left un-said, but then again why should I have to hold back to spare someones feelings when they don't think about me long enough to care how I feel when they treat me poorly. Many of this can go back to the list of things I wrote about in my post about "being a good friend." 

Like many adults I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do. What I hate more is when I offer so much of myself to someone and they could care less about how they treat me as a person. Now something worse... people who try to tell me what to do why they wouldn't allow me to treat them the same way! Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I do take things personally, but those are my FEELINGS! 

Don't make someone feel bad for the way they feel. Don't treat someone in a way you wouldn't like to be treated. (This is basic information you learn in pre-school.) Give your friends and family the benefit of the doubt and hear them out, even if you don't like what they have to say, or if it is negative towards you! 

PPPS: I'm entitled to my feelings, my words, and my blog. This blog is one thing I refuse to let someone take away from me, or control. 

Window into my life...

This is the third time i've started this post. I have tons and tons of thoughts flying through my head! I feel like I have shared very little about myself with my readers. Obviously I don't wanna scare anyone with all my petty issues or anything, but there is a huge part of my life that may show more of why I am who I am, or what I deal with home wise. 

So I'll start by saying that I, like many people these days, am a child of divorce. My parents split when I was seven, and as much as it hurt I realize that was the best thing for us. I love both my parents, they are both still in my life, but they were only brought together for one purpose... to create me. That sounds conceited, but that is literally the only positive thing that came from their marriage. 

Fast forward to when I was in the sixth grade, my mom remarried a guy who was not my favorite because I wasn't ready to share her with anyone. As much as I wasn't a fan he was really good to both of us. Although he didn't show much love, he was a good Step Dad... Because of his job we were relocated to Florida my sophomore year of high school. I loved my friends and life in Florida, some things were good to be changed, but I miss the people I met down there more than anything. 

Thanksgiving my Junior year of high school, this holiday fell on the same week as my mom's 47th birthday. Family was in town, and school was on break, I was recently out of a car due to just having crashed my first car the week before. As family was heading home my mom had already been battling a headache for a week (something she thought was a sinus infection). Long story short, it resulted in a trip to the hospital, three brain surgeries, several months in rehab, and blindness. My mother is 100% blind, something she had lived with for exactly 47 years was now gone. 

When we figured out life was too hard taking care of my mother who needed a 24hour care giver at the time, and no family in Florida, we moved back to Indiana for my senior year of high school. I was brought to distress again having to pick up and move, after having practically lost my mother. When I returned I was able to pick up where I left off with friends in Indiana, and was able to start a new life... Again... 

After being at Ball State for two years I learned something else that shattered my world. My step father did not see himself fit to take care of his newly blind wife, and after some awful situations, he left my mom. This was literally the second hardest thing to happen to me; after my moms new disability this came in as a hard second. I still feel abandoned, hurt, lied to, and so many other feelings. (I'll get more into this later when I feel it necessary and comfortable.) 

I have a strong belief that God has a plan. After all i've been through I still believe there is a God, and he has a plan for me. My faith has been tested, and I've been shaken to the ground. I by no means have had the worst life, or the hardest times. People out there suffer through poverty, rape, abuse, and other terrible tragedies. I know my life has not been ALL bad, but I've still taken my fair share of crap. I never expect pity, nor do I think people will understand, but these experiences have shaped me and who I am. I feel like sharing these issues of my life will help people better understand the things I write about, and what may come up on here and on my YouTube Channel. 

The Stress of Syllabus week!

First day of School, First Day of School!

- NEMO

Today was my first day of my senior year at Ball State University!

I only had two classes Psychology of Women at 12, and Counseling Psych at 1, so I'm home and writing this at 2:30!!! As far as grade school and High School goes first days are usually pretty chill, you learn about your teachers, and do boring introduction activities. College can be similar, we tend to call the first week syllabus week, but that only really happens the first day of the class. So the first two days are syllabus days... We learn our professors expectations of us, and what they have planned for exams, books, and extra credit. 

For me these next few days are when I generally begin to panic... "Erica, its only syllabus week, why are you freaking out, there are no serious tests or papers due????" I know you're all thinking this, but for me I can't help but to freak out! The reason I get so stressed out is because I hear all these different classes telling me about these tests, papers, projects, and readings... Im not sure why but my brain begins to think "OMG THERE IS SO MUCH DUE!!" I realistically know its not all due tomorrow, but I still stress that there is so much to do and worry I wont have time to do it all! 

Reminding myself there will be time, and if it were impossible people would NEVER graduate college, helps a little. It can be done, and I always finish everything and do fine! I have never failed a class in college, but I still get these crazy notions I won't be able to do it. I panic, worry, and question why I put myself through this, yet every semester I end with passing grades, and minimal stress. This being my last year as an undergrad you would think I would learn it's all possible, but I tend to think I'm going to fail! I think too far in the future for things out of my control right this moment. 

If anyone has this similar problem take some of my advice that I am attempting to take myself. Make sure you use a planner and write down future tests and papers so you can see how much time is really between you and these tasks you have. Schedule time to work on things you know are coming up, NEVER wait till last minute to start a paper or pick up a book for class. One thing that really helps me when it comes to reading books is breaking them down into chunks. Make time every day to do reading, but give yourself an amount! Examples would be to read 2 chapters a day, or 30 pages, or however it is easily broken down so you aren't searching cliff notes last minute for the synopsis! 

You shouldn't have to schedule your life down to the minute, but you'll know when you have class so it will be easier to schedule reading time, or time for papers.  Knowing what you have to do is important, but stressing about it is horrible for your health! The first few days should be stress free, so I'm doing my best to remind myself everything is in the future and there is time!!!

Responsibility!

This may come off sounding a bit arrogant... but this is my blog and frankly I'll say what I want. I don't think I'm the smartest, most driven, or the best person around. I do, however, honor my responsibilities. 

I go to my classes, take my tests, write my papers, but mainly I show up for work! Everyone complains about having to work! I am the number one of complaining. I may say I don't wanna be there, I can't sand the people I work with, I'm tired, I have better things to do. All of those things may be true, but I NEVER call off work!!!! I never say I'm sick when I'm not, and the only time I ask someone to cover my shift is if something comes up last minute, or if I have a once in a life time opportunity ahead of me. (Like meeting Adore Delano!) 

So basically where I'm going with this is, why is it so hard to keep up with responsibilities?? Why do people put themselves first. I understand we have to look out for ourselves, but the best people out there don't get where thy are because they would rather get drunk than show up for work. 

I'm not attempting to call anyone out. I just have a hard time understanding why people think putting off their responsibilities looks good... They have to know people will begin to think less of them. If you constantly give up work shifts and don't do what you need to make money and stay afloat I can't imagine anyone would want to help you as you begin to sink... If you don't care about yourself when you have the opportunity to stay above water why should anyone care when you are smothered by your own priorities.  

This leads me into a basic concept, choices. We all have choices, they can range from small choices like what to have to drink, or large choices like where to live. We have the opportunity to wish for things, or we can stand up and DO IT! 

You have the choice to either show up and do what you need to do, or you can call in to say your sick and spend the money you could have made at work on alcohol. 

I have too much time in my life to make bad choices, I chose to go to college, go to my classes, show up to my job to make money to pay for what I need and what I want. Don't get me wrong... I AM SUPER LAZY, but I am also super responsible! 

I feel like people don't understand how it looks when they let their responisbilites go in order to have a good time for the moment... In the end it WILL catch up with them!

Why College is better than High School!

         I recently posted a video on my youtube channel for college students and incoming Freshman. Something I didn't get into was the benefits of College over High School.

View the video called "College tips" for more stuff on college related issues! 
YouTube Channel

College can be hard with all the classes you take, books you read, tests, professors... the list goes on. All of that being said there is so much greatness that comes with being a college student. 

First things first, pat yourself on the back!!! You did it, you're a college student! Attending college is something to be proud of, college is no easy task. I'm going to go through a list of things that are awesome about college. 

- You are on your own! You no longer live with your parents. You can be free to explore and do what you want without being told otherwise!

- In addition, for the most part you wont be told no, or that you can't go somewhere! If you wanna go out on a school night and drink... YOU CAN!!!! (I don't recommend doing this..)

- You wont have class from 8-3... There is a good chance you may be able to work your schedule to have off two days a week, or no class on fridays! Forget 7 hour school days!

-There are clubs, groups, and people who will like the same things you do! There is no way you will go around without friends unless you stick in your room by yourself on purpose. 

- You can do things on your own time... No need to answer to parents, or teachers for that matter... 

-When the professor is done teaching you get to leave... you wont have to hang around like in high school...

- If your professor is sick.. there is a good chance that means NO CLASS for you! Unless you have a shitty TA who holds class regardless. 

-You have access to amazing tools like computer programs, gym equipment, opportunities like speakers who come talk about various topics. There are amazing shows to see that are put on by the theater department, or the school brings in cool shows like comedians, musicians, or broadway shows. 

Some people Ball State has had since I started attending. 

- Luke Bryan

- Blue Man Group

- Jason Mraz

- Jim Gaffigan 

- Hunter Hayze

- Florida Georgia Line 

-There are others that may or may not be interesting, or that I 

am unable to think of at the moment. 

College has so many amazing thing to do. Plus there are no longer the cliques that previously existed in high school. There wont be people that will pick on you, and the chances that you'll have to put up with those mean kids that use to poke fun for no reason is practically non existent. You get to escape the life you had regardless of what you use to deal with. This could be negative.. If you use to be popular there is a good chance no one here will care how "cool" you were in high school. No one cares that you were a football player, cheerleader, or voted best dressed! College is a small representation of the real world! No one cares how cool other teenagers thought you were.. now you are just another fish in this GIANT ocean where you do NOT matter! It's a humbling experience!!! 

So you're #Basic??

So according to the dictionary provided by Apple products it is obvious the word "Basic" means exactly what most of us would think, or at least what we learned in school. Now a days basic is a term females use to show that a girl does everything that every other girl does, i.e. indulge in the finer things in life. I took the liberty of looking up "#Basic" on Instagram, I found pictures of Starbucks, Sperry's, VS yoga pants, and girls holding their fingers in a peace sign over their face. 

If you ask me, basic should mean there is nothing special going on, which in most cases there is nothing special about drinking a drink that you can get on any corner in New York City. I think we should use the word "over privileged." Drinking a Starbucks is NOT a basic thing.... it is the Tiffany's of coffee.

I've come across girls who say "wearing uggs, VS yoga pants, and drinking my tall triple soy no whip white mocha! I'm so #Basic" There is NOTHING basic about that. Those boots cost 180 plus dollars, your pants are almost 50 dollars, and that drink is about six bucks!!! Basic would be wearing five dollar leggings from Forever 21 with 20 dollar Target boots, and drinking an 89cent gas station coffee...  

I think the way people use this words is making it seem like they are just the average "WHITE GIRL." 

I don't own sperry's, or uggs because I'm not a shoe person... I do own my fair share of VS Yoga pants, but thats because they are comfortable and durable... not because I want to be like every other girl in a basic pair of brown uggs. I know these things are just good quality, and I'm not against them as an item. I do, however, find it interesting that girls think these items are "Basic." 

I feel this term could be better used towards females who do basic things. What those "basic things" are I don't know... I do know that Uggs, Starbucks, and fifty dollar pants are NOT basic! 

Is ignorance really bliss???

      

Ignorance is only bliss to those who are consumed by ignorance! 

    Life is full of people who are ignorant. Ignorant to ones feelings, ignorant to basic issues, just ignorant to life around them. It has come to my attention people will be stuck in their ways regardless what happens to them or those around them. I will never fully understand peoples thought process on how they act or treat others... Truth is it's NOT my problem. 

For me, accepting peoples ignorance is hard, mainly because it's a frustrating thing to deal with. For example, at work yesterday I was having to serve a table who seemed quiet, and stuck their noses up at me.... as if they were above me! NEWS FLASH i'm working my way through college... no need to play the "whose better than who game." Regardless, their ignorance left me with no tip on a 61$ bill... they left with perfectly full stomaches, plenty to drink, and nothing but smiles throughout their entire meal... I did all I could but wipe their ass for them... Unfortunately that's how serving is... Most people are ignorant to the fact the only money I make is what comes in the form of tips. 

Life goes on, and people continue walking aimlessly in their own little worlds. I feel as though I am open to those and willing to hear out others no matter their issues on a subject, even if it is against me. To my dismay I fully know the feeling of being the only competent one willing to share my ears, heart, and feelings and still be crushed in the end. 

I understand everyone is different on how they handle a difficult situations, and not everyone will see eye to eye on subjects out of their understanding. The word IGNORANT does a great job of summing up those around me, especially at work. 

The main thing I want people to get out of this post is that they wont always come out being understood or taken seriously. People are entitled and don't respect those around them... regardless if you respect them. Keeping a positive attitude over negative situation is the only thing you can honestly do. I am attempting to take my own advice and be the bigger person. I'm coming to realize people will put their own insecurities, problems, and feelings in front of everyone else's... that's just how our society is, they are selfish, self centered, and most of all ignorant.