Mental Illness Awareness

I’m having a hard time starting this post, it’s a bit out of my comfort zone (surprisingly), it’s not something I am willing to be open about. So I’m writing this in honor of Mental Illness awareness week, which is now basically over (October 4^th-10^th).  It becomes out of my comfort zone because I am someone who suffers from mental illness. As most other people I have a history with Anxiety and Depression. To be fair, it is a pretty common illness, and not one that is unique. One reason I’m writing this, is because I’m sick of people glamorizing mental illness and carrying it around like a Prada bag.

I’ve made a post in the past about how I hate when people say things like “Omg my room is so clean because I’m so OCD!” you are not OCD… and if you are then don’t throw it around like that. You can’t use terms that seriously affect the lives of others and treat it as some word to explain why you alphabetize your cds, or color coordinate your closet.  

Ironically I was a Psychology Major; I took classes that explained a lot of these illnesses, and their inner workings. I met those who were victim to serious issues like OCD who had their lives overturned at points in their lives. OCD for example, not something I remotely struggle with, kept them in their rooms scared of germs and unable to leave their homes. People tend to see those with diseases on the mental spectrum and think it something made up for attention, or something that can be gotten over if the person who has symptoms would just “snap out of it.”

I don’t know how to explain it, but it is something I would highly recommend others to look into before making comments or assumptions about those who suffer from such issues. 

I feel there is a stigma about mental diseases because it is so misunderstood, people who don’t know what it feels like can’t possibly understand and put themselves in the shoes of others. I don’t blame people for not knowing the feeling. I do, however, feel strongly about people who judge the situation of others who are unable to control the circumstances.

During my junior year of college my fiancé encouraged me to take advantage of my Universities free counseling services. This really helped me, and I could never thank him enough for pushing me to see someone who wouldn’t judge me for what I was dealing with. I never told ANYONE about my visits to the counselor, except one good friend who was attached at my hip through college. I didn’t even tell my roommate for the longest time. I eventually got to be a bit better with opening up, and took the opportunity to tell someone in my family who I am rather close to… that backfired. I mentioned how I was seeing a counselor and had been prescribed medication for my depression (HUGE STEP). Unfortunately my openness blew up in my face. This family member said “I feel like those medications are a crutch, and people should just learn to deal with the issues.” I must respect others opinions and ignorance, but it made me want to cry, I was SOOOO hurt.

I have been able to tell my parents and they have both been very supportive, but I have refrained from sharing this information with my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, or coworkers… until now.  I’m no longer embarrassed; I struggled hard for quite some time. My changing situations in life haven’t decreased my mental issues by any means. I wasn’t just a stressed college student, there was much more to it than that.

Days I don’t take my medicine I can feel it, I feel lost, it may be a placebo effect, but nonetheless its real to me. I’m so grateful to those who stuck by me during my struggle; my close friends, my parents, and most of all my fiancé. I don’t use my depression as a crutch, I got through school and graduated, I work two jobs, and I wake up everyday. Days get better, there are still struggles, medicine doesn’t cure everything, but it helps. I can say now that I know life is worth living, it may not always be evident, but I do what I can to stay positive.

This post may seem random to some, but I hope people take something from it. Know that everyone’s struggles are different, and we can’t judge people by their illness or what cards life has dealt them.  Some people may use these illnesses as an accessory, but know that for those who sincerely struggle wish it wasn’t happening to them.

PPPS: No one is exempt from mental illness. It can affect ANY age, race, gender, or class.