What is Love? (a response)

After posting my previous blog I got this comment from a friend of mine, I felt it was a good thing to share because it shows another side to the topic. I have also included my response to her. I realize my blog comes off one sided, and I realize the issue I brought up previously may not be the view of everyone. I also failed to mention some of my more sympathetic views towards those who do choose to stay in relationships, hence why I included my response to her.

Friend: I love your blog and I think your a good writer. But on this one I have to provide a little of my own insight. It's not that they necessarily want to go back to them, it's because they feel like without them, they are nothing. As someone who had a bad relationship with a person who I thought was my whole world, the love of my life,my future husband, I feel like I can kind of understand what kind of mindset we are in. Now let me clarify I was never in a physically abusive relationship. It was mentally, emotionally, and slightly verbally abusive. Which in my opinion is just as bad. This significant other that we are with make us feel like we are the queen of the world. They treat is with love, kindness and respect. They make us feel as if no one else matters. They want us to be the center of the world and they want everyone else to be jealous of our relationship. So the relationship is wonderful, even amazing at first. You start to think I don't know how I could ever live without him. That's how he reels you. Then after a while they start to belittle you, degrade you, manipulate you, all the while you can't see this because you are so in love with this person you couldn't possibly think they would ever want to change you. Then after the first time you notice they do something like this you think maybe I made a mistake, but then they turn around and do something equally if not more sweet to compensate what they otherwise said or did to you. Making you retract your previous thought. They bring you down so low, so that they are the only one who can lift you up. They make you feel as though you can't live life without them. Making it hard to leave or find someone else. So we can judge all want, and not fully understand what goes through their head, but until we go through something similar ourselves. We can't say things like leave him, or just break up with him. Because as much as we want to, we feel like we can't because we are nothing without them . They have brought our self esteem so low that you feel there is now way it can ever be whole again if you didn't have this person.

Me: I definitely see where you are coming from. One thing I say to friends who I know are in "not so good" relationships is "I can only see what they show me. I don't know about the good times together, and I don't know about all the details of "negative" times. I can only go off what I am provided." I know I don't always have the full picture, but I've learned that sometimes people on the outside can see more because they are not blinded by the few loving and caring things happening on the inside. It's a lot different to say one should leave a relationship when you don't feel the love for the other person they are with. I completely see what you mean, I just know that sometimes we have to look at our better judgment and realize what will make us happier in the long run!

Friend: Yes I agree. I'm not condoning staying in a toxic relationship. But sometimes the best thing we can do as a friend is just listen because sometimes when we hear what we are saying we find the courage in ourselves to get out.

Thanks guys for reading! I love when people give me feedback and respond with their personal views and experiences. Feel free to comment on any of my posts, I will always respond!