Being a Good Friend

I like to think of myself as a good friend. I will do anything for those I call my close friends, and rarely ask for anything in return. What I've grown tired of is feeling like I'm unappreciated, or not worthy of the same respects I give to others. 

Let me elaborate on how I feel that I will "do anything for someone." I pride myself in the fact I will help someone talk through their issues and listen to whatever problems they are having, even if it is with me. I have learned to listen to those, especially when working out an argument, about any topic they feel is important to them.  I will give whatever resources I can, let them borrow clothes, eat my food, drink my alcohol, buy them dinner/a drink, whatever I feel like I can do to put a smile on their face or make things easier. I don't expect my friends to go out of their way for me like I do for them; it would be nice to feel respected and not needed only when they need something in return. 

Basic qualities to a good friend:

-Listing to one another 

-giving positive advice in any situation 

-give hugs when they need it / or don't need it!

-don't judge them

-be truthful and trustworthy 

-tell them when you are proud of them or happy for them. (Even if you may not care they just won $3 dollars on a scratch off- pretend to be happy if they are happy)

-Share their excitement

-tell them what makes you happy

-talk to them when there is a problem

-comfort them when they are sad, or seem like they are having a rough day (a simple hug and "I care about you!" Will do wonders.)

-discuss issues you may have with them, don't be afraid to tell them when you think they aren't doing what's best for themselves/ the friendship. 

- don't nickel and dime each other over a split lunch or a round of drinks. (Assuming the debt is low, don't make two or three dollars a big deal to be returned!)

- respect their opinion, feelings, and property 

Ways to be a BAD friend:

-only talk about yourself and your problems

-when your friend confides in you about a problem and you "one up" them by talking how your problems suck more. 

- ignoring them when they need your friendship 

- ignoring them for your boyfriend/girlfriend

-not sharing in their good news and exciting moments 

- talking down to them 

- criticizing them instead of being constructive 

- not thanking them for the little things

- never hugging them

- constantly being late when you go to meet them (this shows that you may not care about the value of their time, and your time together!)

- never pretend you're better than them, or hit them with cheap backhanded comments. 

- blowing off their texts 

- pick a fight over a few bucks they didn't pay you back a week ago for a candy bar or gas station soda. 

The list goes on! Please feel free to comment with any items you feel would be good to add! Let me know how you feel about equal respect in your friendships. 

I hope that everyone takes the time to appreciate their friends and show them they care. Do me a favor, the next time you see a close friend, hug them and remind them how much they mean to you! If you find yourself thinking about a close friend while reading this, text them and let them know you're thinking of them,blet them know they are important in your life! It's always nice to be reminded when someone appreciates your friendship!!!! 

Friendships are important, they keep us sane, happy, and help us feel loved. A bad friendship can be very taxing on ones thoughts and feelings. Don't put up with a friend who talks down to you or is too self absorbed to realize you need their ears rather than their problems taking precedence over yours. 

Server WIN!

I'm a complete believer in Karma, I think the idea that what comes around goes around is a true statement. As a server there is one kind of karma that I enjoy seeing and it makes me smile on the inside and out. 

Now to start off, and not to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty good server! I never get complaints, and usually mistakes are made by the kitchen or the ignorance of the customer. So the fact that I'm not a suck ass server I can now say there is a huge group of people  in the world who do not know how to tip. There are also people who come in mad and take it out on my tip if they don't get their extra fries and twenty sides of ranch at the speed of light. Another issue is people who are cheap and do not want to waste money on a tip.

 Now I know I have some over seas readers; if you ever visit the US always tip your server unless they suck. That is not a statement out of a racism. I just know some countries do not tip, or it can be considered rude. In America, tips are how we make our money, and are greatly appreciated!

So back to the karma portion of this! My favorite thing in the entire world is when a guest leaves an awful tip, and then accidentally leaves their credit card behind. Now don't freak out, I'm not stealing their money, but I do get a sick gratification that they are now inconvenience by the fact they either have to come back and get the card, or cancel it and wait on a new one. 

Now if I grab the book before they leave and realize they left their card I will chase them down to their car. The honest truth is I usually don't notice it until they are long gone, and it's too late to get it to them! After I realize they are gone is when I hand it off to a manger and they put it in the safe. 

Now I will share with you my glorious crowning moment (in my own mind). 

So one time I was at work during a cruddy/slow shift, and of course I got this highly rude and obnoxious table. Their kid kept interrupting me and asking about Wifi that we don't offer, and bitching about chocolate milk. The mom and grandma were rude and demanding expecting fry fills and refills every three minutes. I acted thrilled to serve them, and put on my 'ill do anything you need me to' act. Eventually my scene was over and the curtain dropped.... In other words they left, and I was able to put on my 'I hate you face' as I cleaned off their obnoxiously messy table. As soon as they walked away I walked to the booth and started stacking dishes. I pick up the book and saw they left me less than a 10% tip on an oscar winning performance. I was ticked. Then I smiled because I saw their credit card sitting behind the receipt paper. I looked up and saw them walking out the front door.  I sat there and watched them walk away.... Then I handed their credit card to my manager before they were out of view of the window. 

I hope the gas they use coming back for their card was worth not leaving me another four dollars! #Karma 

I could have walked with no rush to give it back to them; I could have saved them panic, time, and gas. Yet I did no such act of kindness. I did not owe them a damn thing. Lucky for them I would rather hassle them than steal their money. The karma was so gratifying! There is a God, and he watches over us servers and rewards us by showing others the pain they have caused to us! 

Tip your severs. They may not all be as nice as me; some may steal your credit card number.... 

Too Many White Rabbits in the World!

Many people have their favorite Disney character! One character which I don't care for is the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. He's always running late for an important date!

 #Inconsiderate 

This post comes about because it's not only something I care about, but something that affects me when people lack the ability of being on time and respecting others!

I take pride in the fact that I am a very on time person, and I can be held accountable for my responsibilities. If I am told I'm scheduled to work at five o'clock, then I am there at four forty-five or earlier. If I'm not feeling well,  I still go in. The only time I call off is if I'm unable to work due to dizziness or vomiting; mainly because I'm a server and work with food, I don't want to contaminate the food or affect the customer. 

What I can't stand is people who consistently show up late, call off, or have other people take their shifts because they are "busy", or just plain don't want to work. It's not a pick and choose situation, at least not in my eyes. If you want to make your own schedule then be your own boss. The issue with being your own boss is that you would have to work way more often then these types of people clearly prefer. 

I bring this up because I witness people who couldn't care less if they are viewed as reliable. Just the other night I went into my job where I knew I was going to be closing the restaurant this particular night; what I didn't know is I would only have two other servers working with me. Two people called off, and one was a no call no show! Seriously! It was me and two servers who all had more tables then we could handle. The worst part was one of my coworkers is rather new and gets overwhelmed with two tables. Not exactly what I wanted to walk into on a Wednesday night. 

My concern lies with people's lack of reliability and them having no concern for others (their coworkers and employers)! I care quite a bit about my employers. The company I work for allows me to come back whenever I want and take off days as I need them for school. I would never treat them with such disrespect to not even call in for my shift. If I was in a car accident on the way to work I would call my company before I called the police..... Maybe I'm just too concerned with having a good relationship with the people who keep money in my pockets. 

I honestly believe in being an early person and respecting those I work for/with. Getting stuck with three servers, one of which may as well not even exist, at a large restaurant on a Wednesday night is ridiculous. Granted, we managed it, I made oodles of money, and we got through it. The cruddy part is we weren't able to give our guests the full attention they needed, which I also care quite a bit about doing. 

Why do people feel that they are the center of the universe and they can call in and do as they please? Do people just not care about the job they have? People take having a job for granted. There are tons of people who would kill to have the opportunity to work and make money on a regular basis. Yet so many people only want to work when it's convenient for them. Quick News Flash, the world doesn't work around individuals lives. This is why I have no sympathy for a coworker who can't pay their bills or can't get a car so they can get to work! Sounds like they should have showed up on time to get those extra tables, or not given away their shifts because they would rather get drunk. 

I think it's interesting to view how people can be so flighty. I would never want people to assume I don't care about my responsibilities. Bring a responsible adult isn't always glamorous, but it's admirable. 

Here is the rule of thumb when it comes to being on time!

5min early = on time

On time     = Late

Late          = Don't bother coming!!!

Liar liar pants on fire!!!!!

This topic has been sitting at the top of my To-do list for quite some time. I'm currently entering my senior year at Ball State University, and one thing I've learned a lot about, liars.  We all learn quite a bit outside the classroom, but I've managed to be privileged to have met all the liars I could ever need. Now, these people aren't just liars when it comes to saying "I like your shoes. Your outfit is cute." I've been witness to lies that completely alter the persons true self. 

I understand people sometimes lie to look better, for instance, they may say their GPA is a 3.0 when it's only a 2.9. Whatever. Round up. Not a huge crime. I'm talking about lies that are so beyond unnecessary, they make the person telling them look dumb. If I can't believe a word that comes out of your mouth, you need to figure your life out. 

I met a girl my freshman year who literally lied to make herself look beyond awesome. She was a pretty girl, but after I found out what kind of person she is, not only a liar but also MEAN, she is now one of the ugliest people I've ever met. She claimed she was in a world cheer competition, she was a swimmer, and she earned all these great scholarships to other schools. NEWSFLASH, if you actually receive a scholarship to University of Florida you take that shit! I love Ball State, but UF is sooooo prestigious! Plus it's in Florida!!!!!!! 

I have also diagnosed her with One-upper disease! This is my own diagnosis, essentially it is the idea that she cannot let anyone out-do her, she has to be the best at everything. Whenever we said something like "we are going to go tanning, wanna go with?" She would say "oh yeah I love tanning, I have a tanning bed at my house!" Mind you I've worked in the tanning industry, and she didn't know a damn thing about her 'tanning bed!' If you're going to own and operate a tanning bed you need to know how it works so you don't burn yourself or over do it.  

Another situation occurred when she was talking to my roommate.  My roommate owns a horse, and she is extremely well versed in the Equine world! When she mentioned she liked to ride horses this girl said "oh I have a horse too!" Eventually after asking questions and prying at the girl's knowledge my roommate realized the girl knew NOTHING about horses. We eventually contacted this girls old friend and found out that she never owned a horse and only took horseback riding lessons a few times. 

This is only a few of the many lies she concocted. She told big lies, little lies, all kinds of lies. (Girl was the Dr. Seuss of lies!!!!!) All these lies had a common theme, as well as they were all centered around one thing, making herself look good. Making it seem like she was better than everyone else, or trying to seem more interesting. If you can't be liked for who you are and have to lie, then you need help. If you do choose to lie don't lie about things you know NOTHING about and can't even fake a conversation on; especially when you're talking to an expert. 

People should focus more on actually being an interesting person, they shouldn't have to lie about what they do in order to seem interesting.  To me I don't see a reason to lie, my life may be boring, but I'm okay with that. I don't feel like I have to say I'm gymnast who went to worlds, or that I use to model, or pretend I was a pro fisher! I'm basic. I don't lie and pretend to be something I'm not. Only the people who matter will find me interesting; and if they don't find me interesting then they don't matter! 

I can hold a conversation and be entertaining without lying about every aspect of my life. It's less shameful to be boring then to pretend your life is exciting. If someone is your friend you shouldn't have to lie to make them like you. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 

Get it together people! 

(I have also met more liars than my previous example. More stories for another time!!!) 

Who is really to blame?

So this idea that I'm about to explain has been one I have witnessed on many levels, and even dealt with personally. Luckily I have not been an idiot when it has happened to me. 

So this comes about because I was watching the news last night and there was a story about Monica Lewinsky. Apparently she has re surfaced to bring about more information from her and Bill Clinton's inappropriate relationship. My issue in this story does not lie with Monica, but with Hilary. According to the news Mrs. Hilary Clinton said "Monica is a nut" and a "looney toon!"  

Now, before we have a political debate I must add that this has nothing to do with the Clinton's specifically;  it has to do with how Hilary views Bill's affairs. Moreover, this has to do with how all females view their boyfriends cheating. 

More often than not I see women blaming "the other woman," and overlooking the fact their boyfriend/husband had sexual relations with someone else! For the most part that other woman owes you nothing, no respect, no empathy! Truth is, they may not even know you exists. The only time you can be mad at the woman is if she is a friend, sister, or someone you are close to. If none of the previous is the case you can only be mad at ONE PERSON... your significant other. 

I always see girls calling out other females for being a tramp, slut, whore, what have you, and ignore the fact their boyfriend is the real criminal. If he loved you he would not kiss or sleep with someone else. It's HIS FAULT. Quit blaming women who owe you nothing, and instead focus on your cheating man; do not let him slip by with his choices! (Notice I did not use the word mistake, it's a choice!) 

When I found out one of my exes cheated on me I didn't blow up on the girl, she didn't even know I was alive, I focused on him. He got a mouth full. I know better than to blame someone who has nothing to do with the choice at hand. He made the choice, not her.

So if you find yourself in this situation, watch what you do! Don't let your man off the hook, don't blame the other woman; realize who should be the one to care about you. (Hint: the same person who cheated on you!)  As mentioned earlier, Monica is not the one to blame, Hilary needs to blame her husband! 

I just do NOT get it...

Something I don't quite understand is when someone has the nerve to complain that they are unable to pay their bills, or they are always tight on cash, yet they manage to smoke week on the daily. 

Let me start with the fact that I have never done drugs, or abused prescription medication. I don't really care to be a part of that. I try not to judge those who do make these choices, but it's hard not to judge them when they make it a top priority over other necessities. If you are unable to pay your rent, cell phone bill, car insurance, etc, then don't buy weed all the damn time. 

My favorite quote from pot smokers is "it's not addicting like cigarettes, or cocaine!" The problem is, and what they fail to mention/realize, is that the "High" is addicting. Regardless, I am not here to say what weed is or is not, people get too defensive when others put down their habits. I do however, feel that it is safe to say people who make weed a top priority, when they have other needs, are dumb. Keep things in order, and don't start expensive habits if you cannot maintain a roof over your head at the same time. 

All of that being said, if you are an adult and still live with your parents because you can't afford to live on your own, and you smoke weed, I have ZERO SYMPATHY for your lazy ass. Weed is a crappy excuse for why you cannot get your life together. 

To me it is not worth it to give up other luxuries, like shopping and buying things (that don't disappear in five minutes), to obtain such a nasty habit. 

On one last note, I am not a fan of people who post photos on social media of themselves smoking weed, a picture of their joint, or even tweets saying garbage like "I need some weed/bud/pot etc." 

Technically this substance is illegal. Underage drinking on social media is a no no, so why can't pot smokers figure out. I will be forever stumped on why people make this garbage top priority. 

Just Want to Sleep & Pass College!

So this is me being annoyed for a few minutes. Let me start with the fact that I'm writing this at 9:00am Thursday. This is not insanely early for most people, but today it feels like 5am. 

For those who don't know, I'm a college student, and I live in college apartments just off campus. It is currently finals week, and I have one more final to take today. 

The reason I'm peeved, and it feels like 5am, is because my upstairs neighbors, who we are somewhat friends with, decided to BLARE rap music at 3 in the freaking morning! On a side note, I already have issues falling asleep and staying asleep; it's to the point where I take medicine so I'm not up all night. 

So when their music didn't stop after two songs I put on my slippers and hiked my annoyed butt up the freaking stairs. When I got there someone was entering their apartment and I got a strong smell of weed. I just thought to myself "freaking cool." So I see one of the guys who lives there and I just say "can you please turn it down? It's finals week, and I was sleeping..." He immediately said he would take care of it and he was sorry. I went back downstairs, conversed with my roommate, who was also awoken by the BS, and prayed this wouldn't affect my sleep. 

I went back to my room and laid down, of course I couldn't fall back asleep because I was already awake, but tried to go back to bed. They turned it down but I could still hear it more than I wanted. As I started to fall asleep, at 4am, the music started again, practically falling through my floor. I was PISSED. I left it alone because I didn't feel like calling the cops and that was the only option I really had left. 

So let's get to the courtesy portion of this!

Why would anyone, even in a college town, blare music at 3am on a Thursday? Especially during finals week? That's what gets on my nerves. I know they were extremely drunk, but that's not an excuse to be an inconsiderate person. Why blare your music that loud EVER? Forget that we are in an apartment complex... Why does anyone need their music that loud when there is no party involved. I don't understand how people justify this behavior. 

I could have called the cops, but I'm not that mean, especially since they clearly had weed. I just don't see how people could be so dumb and belligerent. I'm not a stranger to alcohol, but I'm pretty sure you can drink without turning into an idiot. I will never understand why people let alcohol control them like that.

  GET IT TOGETHER!!!