He Cheated On Me*

***Spoiler Alert: My husband never cheated on me!***

One thing I have never once worried about in my marriage is my husband cheating on me! He is the most genuine man in my life and I never have to worry about him doing anything to hurt me. This man has never even called me a B****, even though I have deserved it many times over. Yes my husband and I argue, just as any NORMAL couple does, but we are extremely happy and I’ve never worried about infidelity.

The unfortunate truth is that he is the ONLY man who I’ve never worried about cheating on me. Since the 8^th grade I’ve dated 6 guys, including my now husband. Out of those men I was cheated on by 3; 50% of the men I dated were cheaters.

The worst part of these statistics was that the first time I was cheated on was in the 8^th grade… Lets just say I wasn’t willing to do things he felt were necessary.

Before it was even on my radar that he had actually cheated on me I had a dream about what he did, and in my dream I even knew the girl who he cheated on me with. She was a girl who lived down the street from him and rode his bus. (Her and I never got along.) So one day when he and I were walking around the lake near his house I told him about my “ridiculous” dream, and he got very defensive (which I thought nothing of at the time).  After days had passed the girl that lived down the street from him had message me on Myspace about the very issue I had dreamt about, and it wasn’t until I 2-way called him, with her on the other line, that he confessed.

The other significant time was when I was in high school, and my boyfriend at the time took multiple chances to break my heart. He had this habit of looking for something else; I just feel bad for his current girlfriend, I hope he’s treating her better than he treated me, but he was also extremely abusive emotionally (cheater or not he’s kind of a jerk). We decided to stay together even though I moved away to another state, I knew in my heart that wasn’t going to work, but I was 17 and didn’t know better. Sure enough one day after school I get a Facebook message from some girl I didn’t know who spilled the T about what he did. He quickly confessed when I cornered him over the phone. Unfortunately I didn’t get the hint and I gave him a second chance…

We obviously broke up. The interesting part is he broke up with me the day after I shipped out his Christmas gifts; I was on my way to the mall for my shift when he called to break the news. Shortly after Christmas he called trying to get back with me, I said “no thanks.” I knew in my heart he probably only broke up with me to get with another girl for a few days then when it didn’t work out he figured he could ask for me to take him back. Regardless, I finally realized that staying with him was going to be a poor idea, and I haven’t really talked to him since. Fun fact: he was a pathological liar, I seem to be drawn to those who lie like it’s their job, but that’s a story for another time.

Like many woman I’ve been dumb enough to take back a cheater, it’s all too common for women to do that, and we need to realize we are worth more than a mans poor choices. Your partner should always be the only person you have “eyes” for, no questions asked. People define cheating differently, but in all reality any relationship that goes further than one you would have with a sibling is ill and unwarranted when they are not your significant other.

My stories weren’t ones that ended in divorce, and lucky for me I was able to come out ahead with a man who never makes me think twice about the strength of our relationship.  Unfortunately, there are many men and women out there who don’t have that luxury of stability with their significant other. All said and done, I am thankful for my husband and hope that anyone who reads this who may be questioning their current relationship knows their worth, and will stand up for themselves.

On another note, if you know someone who is going through issues of infidelity understand that you cannot force them to leave their partner if they do not want to. Support them and guide them, but don’t cast them out or call them weak for not standing up for themselves. For those who are married divorce may not be an option, and if they are willing to work through their problems that is admirable; but we will never know their true relationship and what they have gone through. To sum up a long-winded scenario of possibilities we must always do what is best for us while guiding others with the best of our knowledge. We must also consider not everyone’s situations are similar to our own, and we cannot fix problems that do not belong to us.

I hope that no one has to feel the pain of being cheated on, but it is extremely common these days, and with the internet providing silly gimmicks like Ashley Madison we can be certain people are making these poor choices regularly. Everyone has worth, and if the person you are with cannot see that worth, then they should most likely not be “worth it” to you.