“It’s your wedding, do what makes YOU happy…but don’t DO THAT!”

I can’t even begin to explain how stressful it can be to plan a wedding, especially when you are the one writing all the checks and making all the plans. Short of being a Bridezilla, I have a very specific list of things I need from the venue where I spend my special day, and those I have to pay to ensure it all goes smoothly. I don’t feel the need to waste money on a wedding planner who will spend my money their way, I know how to use Google, make phone calls, and plan a glorified party.  My biggest stress lies with people who seem to think they know how to plan my special day for me, and I’m not talking about a wedding planner.

I’ve been victim multiple times to family members telling me things like “It’s your day and it should be everything you ever wanted!” That is sweet, and I agree with the statement, but when I share ideas with my family about ideas I have I get told “You shouldn’t do that for XYZ reason!”

 An example was I initially wanted to have my wedding in the winter because that was when my fiancé and I got together, and it was important to put those memories into our special day. After mentioning my expected date I was told, “That’s going to be COLD!” “What if there is snow!” etc… Just recently I decided to make the date in May because I couldn’t wait much longer to marry Matt. This brought up new conflict “What if it isn’t warm enough yet?” I honestly can’t win! I also had a family member on Matt’s side say,  “You should wait till June… I’ll still be in my program in Spain….” Then proceeded to tell me that their plans trump my wedding and they wouldn’t come back early to make it.

Another note that I wanted to include for the wedding was to have a taco bar for food, it is different and it was the meal Matt and I shared on the day we started dating and something we both enjoy! Several people, including my mom (sorry mom), have said, “what if someone doesn’t like tacos?” My biggest response has been “THEN THEY CAN STARVE!!!” I realize not everyone is going to like my choice in food, but I can’t tiptoe around every possibility of dislike.

I understand some people won’t make it to my big day, and not everyone will like the food I choose. I’ve done my best to accommodate everyone to the best of my ability, but I can’t make everyone happy…. Frankly I shouldn’t have to accommodate to anyone except Matt and myself! I just seem to be struggling with people who say, “it’s your day, and it should be the way you want it, but don’t do this!” I understand people think they are being helpful, and are “trying” to give me possible issues that may arise… but as a college graduate I am well aware of the fact things may not be picture perfect for everyone involved. Trying to offer ideas and make suggestions is one thing, but telling me that my idea is flawed really gets under my skin. I already have to stress about how much this will set me back on top of paying off my school loans, I don’t need negative feedback for how I want to spend the one day that I should remember for the rest of my life! This day is to start the rest of my life with the Man I love, I don’t particularly care if it fits the taste of those I invite to share in my celebration.

I’m Sorry! Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours???

So my fiancé touched on a similar topic within his blog, and this topic has been on my list for quite some time.

One thing I CAN NOT stand is being interrupted. I feel like when I was growing up me and my best friend would be scolded for interrupting our parents. Something I assumed most parents taught their kids. Being interrupted is something I struggle with often, especially with certain people I communicate with; it also tends to happen when I am with more than one person at a time. Occasionally when I am with two friends I will begin talking about something and they will interrupt to say something on a similar note.

Example

me “The other day I was on Facebook..”

friend: “OMG, today on Facebook so and so mentioned about being (fill in the blank)….

Me: “Oh, yeah that’s interesting. Well when I was on Facebook I saw on my timeline….”

Friend: “Yeah I couldn’t believe they would do that!!!”

I can’t seem to get back to what I was saying, and the new topic has been dominated by whatever this person feels to be more important.

Another issue I run into is as I am talking someone will be scanning through their phone and see something interesting (text message, Facebook post, Tweet, etc.) and then interrupt me with whatever it is they see!  What is worse is when they keep doing it, I can’t get out a complete thought as they continue to change topics to whatever runs across their minds or cell phones. How hard is it to hold on to your thought or say, “When you are done I have to tell you something!” My fiancé has learned to wait until I’m done because after being interrupted several times I give up on whatever it was I was going to say, and refuse to go further.

 

The worst type of interruption that I have been victim to is talking about something and the other person brings up something completely irrelevant to what I am saying, and continues to talk about it as if I was never speaking in the first place. This makes me feel like they weren’t even listening to me. It could even be read as arrogance. In my opinion when someone does this they are only thinking of themselves and what is on their mind with no respect for the other half of the conversation.

Unfortunately there isn’t much I can do to fix these situations, especially for those who find their thoughts to trump anything I could ever say. In my opinion this is a rude habit for people to partake in, and is something that will eventually lead to them rarely having successful conversations in the future.  

Besides being interrupted I hate having to repeat myself because someone is not paying attention. I had an old friend who would almost make me repeat myself every other sentence because she wasn’t paying attention.  It’s one thing if you cannot hear me, it’s another if you are wasting my breath by being discourteous. I eventually told this friend “I’m going to quite re explain myself, I’m tired of you not listening the first time.” Rude?? Maybe. Necessary for my sanity? Absolutely!

I encourage people to check themselves and pay attention to these social faux pas. I can guarantee it would irk anyone to be interrupted, so why do it to others? I understand they may not realize they are doing it, but I was raised to not be rude!

Finding Leo

Last Saturday morning I met my Fiancé for breakfast, after I finished eating my Pancakes I look at him and asked, “How is kitten doing?” He asked me “are you done eating?” I looked confused and said “yeah…” He then proceeds to tell me that the back door was left open and Leo got out.  I immediately began to cry, and freak out! My two-year-old kitten was out in the woods, cold, hungry, and alone.

I told my fiancé I was going to his place to find the cat, ran out of the restaurant, and cried the whole way home. I spent the whole day bawling my eyes out and walking around the neighborhood shaking a can of treats and calling his name. (It was beyond pathetic looking.)  Over the next two days he hadn’t returned. I posted his picture all over Facebook, added him to the Indy lost pet website, and even put up flyers around the complex.

For the most part people were super helpful and encouraging about us finding our baby, most people shared about their kitty’s who came back after a few days, and that they were alright! However,  I ran into my fair share of rude people who didn’t seem to be as nice about it. As we walked around hanging flyers there was a guy who tried to be nice and say “Yeah my cat got out a while ago, then a few weeks later I found him dead in a bush by my front door.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME! That was beyond what I wanted to hear, and it was super insensitive.  The next day I got home from checking the Animal control shelter and when I returned noticed all the flyers I posted were all ripped off the doors. I initially thought it was the complex, but the flyers in the other section of the complex were still in tact. So someone deliberately went around and ripped all my LOST kitten flyers down. That was incredibly rude.

I know it seems crazy that I was so freaked out about a cat, but I put so much love into this creature. He really is a part of our family, and like my child. I love him SOOO much, it was painful not to know where he was, if he was safe, or if he was alive. Not knowing was worse than putting him down due to old age or sickness. At least when I put down previous pets I knew where they were and had that feeling of closure.

Regardless of the jerks out there I had quite the support system from Facebook friends, even those who I don’t talk with much. They shared my posts to get the word out and gave me encouraging words and helped me keep hope. I couldn’t thank them enough for everything they have done over those few days. I also want to give a huge thank you to our friend Rachael who brought us some no kill traps to help corner our baby and keep him from running off after he came home. We put the traps up Saturday and filled them with cat food. Monday morning at 4am he returned and my heart filled with SOOO MUCH JOY!

Heartwarming words from Facebook! :) 

He returned a little lighter, very hungry, and with some sneezes and itchy eyes. I took him to the vet Wednesday and got him all fixed up with some shots, and medicine for his leaky eye. Although he is not a fan of the medicine he as been super cuddly since he came home, and extremely loving.  I would never wish the feeling of losing a pet on anyone. I honestly don’t understand how parents deal with kidnapped children, or runaways! I cried every single day, and felt pain in my heart, but I also prayed… It may not be how everyone deals with similar situations, but it was important and worked for me.

If you ever lose a pet be sure to post about it with local shelters, and check local animal control centers. I didn’t give up a single day, and he finally came home. I couldn’t be happier to have him back, and although I appreciated him before, I appreciate him 100 times more now.

PPPS: Check out my new video on YouTube