Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Make LOVE, NOT WAR!

         Imagine you are talking to your best friend about their relationship, she tells you her and her partner are fighting, and she feels bad for making them angry. You try to help her figure out why they are not agreeing, and talk it out. You give suggestions for a better relationship and support her if she decides to stay with her partner or if they break up. 
Now imagine you are talking to your best friend and she tells you her relationship is rough, and her boyfriend hit her because she forgot to call him, or because she was out too late with her friends..... Hopefully you would change how you handle the situation. The problem with this is that many girls allow the abuse, they stick around with a partner who hurts them because they try to find the good in that person. All in all,they blame themselves. Girls get comfortable with someone and they refuse to leave and play "the dating game" again. They give excuses for why they deserve how they were treated, why they cannot leave, or why their partner "didn't mean it and wont do it again." 

Females especially tend to blame themselves for what happens, they apologize too often for things they don't need to be sorry for. Domestic abuse is common, regardless if it is a smack on the face or a punch in the eye. It is something we should NEVER take lightly. If you have a friend in this situation, or you are in this situation, you need to know there is NO REASON you should EVER forgive such behavior! No man should ever put his hands on you in a negative way. If you have a friend in this situation remove them, give them a safe place to stay. Most importantly, DO NOT tell the person who is doing the abusing where their parter is, keep their location safe! People who are willing to harm their partner will go to any length to find them. People who have the audacity to abuse the person they "love," are crazy, they stop at nothing to maintain control. 

Something people don't realize is that abuse is more than physical harm. Abuse can come in the form of yelling, hurtful words, and unneeded comments. I have luckily never dated a guy who was physically abusive... but I have dated a guy who was emotionally abusive. He would twist my words, call me names, and worst of all he would always use this phrase "You are SO RIDICULOUS!" I hated when he would say that to me. The worst part was he would say that when I would dislike something he had done... he would say that when I was hurt because he cheated on me... that was clearly very ridiculous of me to feel that way! I finally got out of that relationship for good. 
My current relationship is PERFECT! I have the best boyfriend any girl could ask for! He treats me like a princess, he has never called me a "Bitch," and he certainly has NEVER laid a hand on me! 

Anger should be contained and controlled, if you cannot control it the way you like to control your partner you don't deserve them. Abuse can hurt more than just skin deep, it bruises the mind. It is harmful to a persons self esteem, and it can become the source of self hate and depression when one is stuck in that sort of situation. 

As a friend know when someone needs your help, even if it means calling the cops on the person they are in a relationship with. Your friend may be mad, they may not understand why you would do this to them... But one day they will thank you. It is hard to recognize something is wrong when you are on the inside... Outsiders are able to see things differently because they are not blinded by what they think of as LOVE...

  It is always important to do what is best for your friends, even if they are in a good relationship with a person you CANT STAND. If you see a red flag, such as bruises, or too many tears shed for the wrong reasons, you need to stand up to them and tell them they are worth more than that! Dealing with someone who is abusive is never the ideal route, but it will happen, it is best to help before its too late. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Stand up, or SHUT UP!

(Stand up for what you believe in, or shut up about it and get over yourself)

It never fails. Getting angry is one thing that will happen, the reason may be silly, or it may be serious. Regardless, I have the tendency to get so angry that I practically shut down. My heart pounds, my brain races, I feel like I'm gonna murder the next person that crosses my path!  

Like I mentioned in my last post I will constantly think about something even though it does nothing but TEAR ME UP! When someone makes me mad beyond belief I feel like I am going to loose all control!

People don't understand how much I hold my tongue in some situations, and when I finally BURST everyone in a 10 yard radius will feel my wrath! When someone "comes at me" they will never come out on the side of accomplishment. The only good thing that will come of getting in my face is hearing everything you've ever done wrong spill out I front of you and make your entire life feel like a failure. I don't take well to people who put me down just to hurt me, you're setting yourself up for a fight you won't be able to finish. I don't deal with stupid people, it isn't worth my time. If you want to talk to me, or have a discussion you better do it as an adult. 

It amazes me the amount of childish antics someone can partake it when they are an ADULT. I don't play games, I'm 21, not some high schooler who plays "comment bully" on Facebook! People who don't approach me like an adult and leave notes/comments etc. are really not what I want to deal with. Come talk to me like a person, and listen to what I have to say too. I'm tired of people starting DRAMA!!! Yes DRAMA! It's pathetic you're a grown adult. 

If you seriously "Don't care" what people think about you then quit bringing it up. If you think your words are worth the issues that you're expressing don't be mad when someone doesn't like what you have to say! People need to learn what is controversial, and choose if that is something they WANT to get themselves into. If you post a Facebook status about someone and they come across it and get angry don't be mad that they are angry, you chose to represent yourself that way and now you're going to have to deal with the consequences. 

Everything has consequences, if you don't want those consequence then think twice before you open your mouth. You may start a fight that is only pushing you down the mountain leading towards your goals. If you act like trash don't be mad when someone calls you out. If you play the victim don't be angry when someone puts you in your place and shows you why you're wrong. If you don't want to be told you're wrong then don't put yourself in a situation where someone has the ability to judge your actions and words. 

The only way to keep from causing problems is to keep it to yourself. I'm sick of people blaming others for their misfortunes and problems. If you don't want people to talk, don't give them something to talk about. If you think they are full of crap and you've done nothing wrong then don't gripe and just learn to IGNORE them. Talking about it only creates more problems. 

PPPS
    Sorry for the rant. I'm just caught up on stupid people who don't think before they speak. I had to let it out before it became my downfall! 

On another note, I will always stand up for what I believe in, and if you don't like it thats fine by me.... 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

The stress of thinking...

Today has felt as grey as it looks outside. The rain like tears falling from the sky. I feel like today has been a day of sadness, and self hate. I don't know what it is, why I feel like everything and everyone is either out to get me, or waiting to yell at me for something. I spent the day hanging on my own, spending time by myself. It was relaxing, but it gave me too much time to think. 

One thing about me is i hate to be left to my own thoughts. I always feel like my brain leads to always thinking negatively. I feel like I constantly go into those patters where I remember everything that is going wrong, what I should have said to someone; mainly I just overload my brain with information that I cannot change and that is only stressing me out. I'm one of those people who loses sleep at night because my brain wont stop running. 

I tend to have to keep myself busy to refrain from "thinking." If I let my brain wander It will bring me down or frustrate me. I get stressed out easily, and it brings me down and puts me in the most awful moods. Overthinking is probably why I like to sleep so much, it keeps me from thinking. I know it sounds ridiculous, but thats how my life goes. Because of this disfunction I have I HATE driving for long distances alone... it gives me wayyyyy to much time to think. 

While I was having my day to myself I was left with too much thinking time... I went into a bookstore while I was killing time between places I had to be. Going though the bookstore I went up and down the aisles looking at what they had, seeing if anything caught my eye. I got to the section of test prep books: SATs, ACTs, LSATs, and the GRE... The GRE is a test that you have to take before getting into graduate school. Graduate school is something that has been haunting me for the past year, and will continue to haunt me until graduation in the spring. This stupid test is scary because I need a good score to even think about graduate school. Grad school is something I NEED to do and want to do, but I am not sure if i'll be able to do. 

Looking at these damn books got me worked up in thought... 

I contemplated purchasing one, but knew just seeing it in my room would work me up. It became the frustration of my thoughts for the rest of the evening. Hard to believe one test could be so stressful... School is stressful. One more year of college. Then I get to worry about getting a job, or going to school for another two years... Ugh. Being an adult BLOWS!!!!!! 



PPPS
I'm so sick of all these back to school commercials... I still have a month, I don't need the reminder about classes starting up. 

Monday, July 21, 2014

My Love Muffin

I want to quickly recognize a friend of mine. Someone who sticks by me, understands me, cares for me, and most of all she SUPPORTS me! It's funny to look back and see all her and I have been through. We have known each other since we were twelve, and we started out being each other's most hated enemies.... and I mean HATE! We were morbid to each other. Looking at us now we couldn't be more different of friends. We are some of the best friends, at least in my opinion. 

The reason I value her so much is because she asks me how I am, she makes sure I'm okay. Even when I was miles away and having the worst day of my life she called and talked to me to boost me up.  She supports me. I don't ask much of my friends, just give me the same respects I give you in return. Be a good friend!!! She has done this for me and I can only hope I've done the same for her.

She's so supportive of my blog, my YouTube channel, and she shares her support with me. It's nice to know someone is there caring and paying attention to what's going on, not just getting something out of it! 

If you go back to my blog about being a good friend you can read all the positive things about a friend! If you read through these she is every single one to me! I can't begin to convey how much she means to me! I do NOT know what I would have done of we never got over our differences and ended up where we are now! I love you Kayla! Thanks for being the best Love Muffin I could ever ask for!!! 


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Cat Lady!

A million cats, no human friends, and a house that smells of a cat box and tuna fish. This is what most think of when someone says that someone is a cat lady, they picture an animal hoarder. I , along with a few of my friends, don't see cat ladies as having ten cats, and no social life. We see ourselves as cat ladies. You can be successful and have a life while being a self proclaimed CAT LADY! We could be considered cat obsessed! If our cats could talk they would say they are loved more than any animal around, and they are beyond happy to have us as their moms! 

People may look at us like we are crazy, chances are they're right! We are crazy, crazy obsessed with are little fur babies. Some people are obsessed with art, makeup, or reading, I hold my obsession in the form of something warm and cuddly! 

My boyfriend and I share our cat, our kitties name is Leo, and we love him to the moon and back. My boyfriend keeps our cat because I can't keep the baby full time in my apartment at school; plus it is easier to have the cat in my home town because I come home to work during weekends and school breaks. 

Because I'm 21 and unmarried, I do NOT want a child, but I think of my cat as my child. (My boyfriend and I have a child out of wedlock!!! My family would be so disappointed!) Cats are children with four legs and fur. Some people agree with this, others just see cats and dogs as animals; something you own and take care of, nothing more. In my eyes, my cat means the WORLD to me. He makes me happy, he makes me feel safe, and he reminds me things will be okay. I love my boyfriend, and can't imagine my life without him, but our cat gives me another being to live for, and someone to love. It's a different kind of love than you can get from a human. 

I'm sure by now you think I'm nuts for caring so much about an animal, something that can't talk, and something many people argue doesn't actually love you back. It's been "researched" that cats cannot love, they only recognize that we feed them and help them meet their basic needs. I disagree. The way my cat acts when we get home, the way he curls into my hugs, I can see there is more to his ability than just seeing me as a set of thumbs that can open a can of food. I'm not here to convince anyone, but know if you ever feel sad a cat, or a dog, can make those feelings go away. 

The worst part, and possibly dumbest part of my obsession with my cat, is that I am crazy allergic to cats. I can spend time with Leo and even have him stay with me, but if his hair/dander gets into my eye I swell up and get itchy eyes from hell. If my boyfriend doesn't clean up the house good enough I have a hard time breathing, and begin to cough up a lung. Yet I still spend time with my cat, and love him like he doesn't have the ability to make me sick... Love does not judge!!! Love will prosper, even if it is the love between a girl and her cat! 

I have about 300 photos of Leo on my phone, and I post more photos of him to my Instagram than I do of myself! He's my baby, and I will spoil him for the rest of his life, he gives me so much to love and care for! I know he loves me back, scientists may disagree, but they are most likely sad and lonely... and definitely not cat owners. 

I suppose the main reason for this post was to brag about my beautiful cat, and the love I have for him! My friends Lauren and Kayla share the same "cat lady" diagnosis with me... It's nice to know I'm not alone!




Me & Leo

Kayla & Mr. Kitten (Sebastian)
Lauren & Rigby

Friday, July 18, 2014

Nervous

It's just past midnight as I'm writing this. I'm having a moment and I don't know what else to do. I'm very nervous over starting this new YouTube Channel. I'm scared it's not going to have the response I hope for, I'm scared it won't have a positive view. I'm just stressed about putting myself out there. 
When I started this Blog I wanted it to be completely anonymous. I didn't want to share my name, who I was, or my photo. I quickly got over that when I accidentally posted a link to an Adore Delano page on Facebook and my friends and family saw it. My Dad, was super cool about it. If anything he was thrilled over my writing skills.... Which are non existent... But he's my dad, he says he proud over all the little things I do. Regardless I figured "what the hell!" I'm not one who generally cares what people think, let's go do this!
 I know not everyone on my Facebook, or in my life has read what I've posted. And even less care about it or want to read it. I have a few people, especially some over seas who read it regularly. It's scary to wonder what people think. (Although I tell myself I don't care what others think I still think about it..) 
As tonight goes on I can't sleep because I'm stressed with my summer classes ending, and this whole wondering what I'm doing with myself. I feel like a complete psycho starting something like YouTube... I don't plan to be successful or a "Youtuber" but I don't wanna put myself in a situation where I look back and say "why the FUCK did I do that..." "What was I thinking" "I'm an idiot...." A lot of the same thoughts I think when old boyfriends come to mind. 
I guess I'll let it ride out. Can someone please tell me if they think I'm making a HUGE MISTAKE!!!??? I feel like I'm doing all this and I'm the only one who takes anything from it.. That defeats the purpose. Regardless I'm a worrier, and I overthink everything. It's late so I'm gonna end it here. 


PPPS
Thanks to those who read my blog regularly. I really enjoy knowing there are those who care about what I have to say! 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

YouTube??

So I've done the crazy, and unthinkable.... I've expanded PerfectlyPinkAndParticulalrlySassy to YouTube. I hope by doing this I can expand on my thoughts and have a different mode of transportation for my opinions. If you're interested please check it out. So far I've only recorded my intro explaining basically what I have here. I hope it's something that will internet my readers.

PPPS
     Let me know what you think either here or on the new video!

Monday, July 14, 2014

The Daily Struggle

Some of my few addictions in life include Coke, and Elephants. Coke like the cola... and you can be addicted to elephants right??? Well anyway, like i've mentioned before, I have an obsession with elephants! I Love all things elephants, clothes, stuffed animals, real elephants, ALL elephants!

So let me get to why this means anything to me. Sunday night my boyfriend and I were leaving Edinburg Indiana after a camping and canoe trip with friends. On our way out we stopped at the local McDonalds to grab some sodas. On the way in I saw the poster for their current happy meal toys, they were good ole TY beanie babies. One of the few toys on the poster was....... bet you can't guess..... A PINK ELEPHANT!!!! OHMYGOSH! So of course my boyfriend asked the guy at the counter if we could buy one, but to my dismay they were out of the elephants. My luck. So today I made Matt go with me to the McDonalds in our area for some ice cream.... but really I just wanted the Elephant toy. So we get to the counter order our ice cream, and I ask the girl if we can buy the pink elephant toy. She and every one of her co-workers looked at me like I was fucking crazy. Never the less they looked for the toy... and once again they were out.... 



Long story short I am still on my quest for the Pink Elephant TY baby from the McDonalds happy meals. This concludes my struggles for the day.

PPPS
If anyone gets a hold of one of these Elephants i'll pay you for it! 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

#TellMeImPretty

So I ran across something interesting on Instagram. I was posting a photo for the 4th of July of the fair food I was eating. So me being a foodie I hashtaged the word "fatty". Thinking back to my previous post about girls posting #skinny I searched who else used the hashtag I used, "#fatty." 

When I got to the page of other users who posted with this hashtag, I saw a bunch of photos of food.... then as usual some skinny little girl in a bikini. I was like "here we go, some girl who thinks she's fat and clearly isn't!" Not necessarily the case. This girl does not have body issues, she has attention craving issues. 

I opened her photo and saw the FLOOOOOD of hashtags she used. She has other photos where she uses her lack of makeup on her pretty face to fish for compliments by posting hashtags like "#ugly, #shity, #gross, etc". Then people who want her approval and friendship comment saying she is beautiful, and flawless. Which is what she really wants, she wants people to tell her she's pretty to boost her confidence. 



As I browse her profile I notice that she has in her bio that she is......DRUMROLLLLLLL.......





 Fifteen years old....! (Bish wut?) she posted photos of her in a sexy costume, and others of her in skimpy clothes, and pushing up her boobs. Girl.... You're under 18, and asking guys for their KIK... (KIK is like a way to text people without giving your number.) I have no idea how KIK works, if there are age limits, anything like that; but I CAN bet she's talking to guys who are way older. It's like AIM from my day, but instead of chat rooms you post pictures and beg people to KIK you. REAL CLASSY! (I'll KIcK her...) 



The amount of hashtags used indicates what kind of people you're looking for to see the photo. Clearly by posting #kikme #hitmeup #single..... We know she's not trying to get other people like her to view something interesting. She's only asking for attention from others, mainly men if I have my guess. Another thing I found interestingly that all of her photos are of her, selfies and such, no food pics, no flowers, no pets... Just suggestive photos that make her look good. 



I can't judge her for being conceited, but I can judge her for being too young and engaging in adult ideas. Maybe I'm wrong, but I was not doing stuff like that at 15. When I was 15 I was picking out glitters for my Myspace page... I thought I was cool on Myspace and AIM... Clearly I was deprived of iPhones and Instagram. I would smack my little cousin who is 15 if she ever posted photos like this girl... Shoot, I would smack my 18 year old cousin if she posted photos like that!! I will never understand why girls need so much approval. 

It's seems as though every "like" they get is equal to a minute of breathing. In other words, they live for the attention. 

#GetALife 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Reality

One thing I have been doing as I get older is become more organized. I like to know what I'm doing weeks in advance; I am very much a planner. It's pretty disgusting the lengths I go to plan things. I'm not a last minute person, I like to know where I'm going, who is going with me, how long we will be there, what I need to wear, do I need to eat before, etc etc. My best friend/sister is the same way. We don't like to go into situations being unaware of what is going on. For example, before my spring break last year I spent many weeks planing and arranging. I had the hotel picked out, transportation taken care of, and every item of clothing I need photographed and placed on a spread sheet for the days I was going to wear them... Slightly ridiculous, I know. Organizing my life keeps me in check, and planning my wardrobe kept me from overpacking. I overpack like it's my job otherwise. 

So that being said let me get into my most recent of projects. I have gotten a planner good for the next year and half so I can keep track of all my big girl items: phone bill, car insurance, rent, class schedule/ homework, and school breaks. So here is where I get to the point. I was going through the Ball State University calendar so I could see dates for classes, breaks, and finals week. So I got through filling out my spring break week, and got to the end of the calendar... 
May second: Graduation Commencement... My COLLEGE GRADUATION!
 It became real. It's still two semesters away, but I was floored to write that down, and realize that it is closer than ever. 



I have never been so excited or scared in my entire life. Class of 2015. I recall moving into my dorm room three years ago, going to my first classes, hanging out at my first frat party. The excitement of it all came so quickly and it's hard to believe how quickly times flies. High school was so long, and boring, but college is such a rush. It really does go by fast, you never believe the term "time files" until you're zooming by life and can't even fathom where all that time went. Two more semesters, 30 some credits, two sets of finals week, a Christmas break, spring break, and I'm out in the real world. Fingers crossed I can walk across that stage in a year and grab that diploma  as a university graduate! 

Chirp Chirp, Cardinals. Here is to our senior year!!! 

(My roommate and I the first week of college there years ago!(me on top))

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